Welcome! My name is Erica and I'll be your server today!

Instead of saying, "Good Morning!" to my girls each morning, I should be saying,

"Welcome! My name is Erica and I'll be your server today!"

I de-clare... it seems as if my entire day is spent waiting hand and foot on them.

"Mommy scoot me!"
"Mommy, can I have a cup?"
"Mommy, can we have a snack?"
"Mommy, I thirsty!"
"Mommy, can we have a lolli?"
"Mommy, I poo-poo'd. Change my diaper?"
"I can't reach it!"

Oh, you get it.... I could go on forever, but I'll spare you the monotony. I just hope they leave me a good tip, because this waitress business is tough stuff!

Drive time conversation

I have to literally pull information out Elisan regarding her day at school.

I ask her, "What did you do today at school?" and it mainly consists of the highlights of the day - recess and lunchtime!

(Daddy's little girl, for sure!)

When asked, "Did you learn any letters today?" she tells me that she didn't learn any letters because she already knows them all.

(I'm sure the teacher thinks she is a peach. Yes?)

When asked, "Were you a good girl today?" she'll say yes, then tell me about the student's who had their names written on the board. Today she said there were five names written on the board. I asked her if her name was one of the names on the board and she said, "Nooooo Mommy! I never get my name on the board!"

(At least she learned something at home!)


P.S.
Don't forget to join me in this week's photo assignment!

Blog Photo Assignment - Week #1 - Where do you blog?

This is my office! We recently purchased a desktop computer because the laptop died due to overload.

My Dell laser printer rocks and I got it at a great deal of $89.00 and free shipping -- no, I haven't had to buy toner yet... yes, I know it's outrageously expensive!

My iPod rules and if you don't have one, GET ONE!

The pink standing files hold everything from my camera to school papers to stuff that needs to go into the trash.

And finally, my beloved stool. I just bought the stool about a month ago.

Now...since this is an assignment, complete it and turn it in and link your site below! Have fun!

Good Bye BMW... Hello Mini-Van

The title says it all.

On of my friend said, "Welcome to the Club" in a recent IM exchange! WHAT? There was a CLUB? Had I known there was a club, I would have joined sooner!

So, it's official... I'm a Mom! Whew... that was a close one. I'd hate to think that I was just impersonating a mom by driving a fun sporty little car!

Goodbye my friend! Have a nice life!
You were a great companion!

My very own personal trainer!

I'm excited to announce that I now have a personal trainer to help me get into shape!

I've been needing to get some kind of exercise program going, but I'm not the kind of person who does well in organized classes and/or gym atmosphere... there's something about doing aerobics in a class full of women that intimidates me... not to mention that "white girl has no rhythm!"

So, I bought myself a pair of roller blades from my favorite store and a jogger stroller from my favorite online classifieds ads.

(Sidebar: I know, I know... roller blading behind a jogger stroller seems like a recipe for disaster, but really it isn't! Even with my history of roller blading, it's really easy and oh...how my booty burns! But, I digress...)

And now, to complete the equation, I now have a personal trainer!

Who, you ask? It's KM!

As soon as we come home from dropping Elisan off at school, KM brings me my skates. She reminds me to grab a bottle of water and off we go!

She even coaches me! She will say, "Fasta mommy, fasta!" over and over again.

Then as we come to an intersection, she asks me if I'm ready for "watey" and we share a drink together.

When we're done doing our mile lap (because that is all I can muster right now!) we go inside and she tells me, "I hot, mommy." and I agree. It's nice to have someone to commiserate with.

So, there you have it. My very own (free) personal trainer.

I think this is the start of a beautiful relationship.

Oh my! I've been critiqued!

I was perusing through my site meter hits and came across this! Read this (totally unsolicited) critique from Billy Mac about my blog (no! seriously... totally unsolicited!)

Thanks goodness he was very generous with his critique, otherwise I would have left the computer crying, swearing to never return to blog-world again!

Thanks Billy Mac...who ever you are!

Fit Over Function

The last time I wrote about a new car was back in July and in the end, I resolved to keep my super teeny tiny sports sedan another year.

But worry no more people, because this weekend, WE'RE GOING CAR SHOPPIN'!

Those who know me best can remember the mantra that I professed over and over (and over) again...

• "We'll never get an SUV or a Mini-Van. Period. End of discussion."
• "No, I don't care that a car cannot haul 8 passengers."
• "So what, that I can barely fit my stroller in the truck of my car."
• "No, I don't really care about carpooling. Why would I carpool, my car gets super duper gas mileage (and that was when gas prices were a measly $1.30/gallon)."
• "No, I don't want to drive a big mom-box down the freeway!"
• "I love my car because it is sporty and I can go 0-60 in 7 seconds!"
  

So, my friends and family members stopped asking me about it.

Well, 'fit over function' finally won out. The car is just too small for us. That, we can all agree upon.

What we (Randy and me) could not agree upon was what. So, after internet shopping and comparing various makes/models of every car, SUV and mini-van known to man, we just can't deny the fact that a mini-van is second to none in size and function.

So, there ya have it, people who know me best. A mini-van... yep... I'm joining the ranks of moms everywhere! Carpool here I come.

(Stay tuned. More vehicle updates - with photos! - coming soon.)

Just a little bit of pride

Randy loves the fact, that by Springtime, his yard is full of green lush grass, while most of the neighborhood's grass is still coming out of hibernation.

He drives down the streets comparing the green-ness of his grass to the other yards and beats himself on his chest and says, "Me man!"

This Summer however, has yielded nearly no rain whatsoever... translation: dead grass abounds. And to top it off, our grass has some kind of grub worm that is destroying the grass at it's root.

Enter new neighbor: Mr. Buford (the names have been changed to protect the unaware!)

Mr. Buford is a nice old man. He's a retired minister and he and his family are super nice.

Anyway, one day Mr. Buford comes to the house asking Randy to take a look at his lawn mower for him. Well, come to find out, Mr. Buford put the gasoline into the oil tank. Randy was able to help him out and drain the gasoline for him.

Randy came back and was chuckling that Mr. Buford probably didn't know too much about lawn work. And truthfully, being a minister, he probably didn't do too much lawn tending, since his former parishioners likely did it for him as a courtesy.

Fast foward a month or two... Randy's lawn is getting crispy and dry and is on the brink of death. Randy is outside surveying the lay of the land when Mr. Buford comes over and they begin to chat. Mr. Buford gives Randy some lawn tending advice that perhaps, Randy is cutting the grass too short. Randy, being the gracious one in the family, tells him he is probably right.

Fast forward to the weekend, Randy is setting up the sprinklers outside, when Mr. Buford comes on over and fires up a conversation. He tells Randy that watering the grass in the heat of the day is not good because it evaporates immediately. Randy, the ever gracious one, tells Mr. Buford, that yes, he is probably right.

I asked Randy if Mr. Buford has given him anymore "handy" lawn tending advice. But, Randy being such a gracious, God-fearing man and knowing what the Bible says about honoring and holding to the highest regard the men of the church, he didn't have a foul word to say about Mr. Buford. He just shook his head, said 'yeah' and went on with his business.

There's a lesson to be learned here somewhere, but I'm not sure what. My original intent of this post was to poke fun at Randy, but really, I think I can learn from him instead.

There's a reason why I love this man, even if his grass is dry, crispy and on the brink of death.

Bugs

Since having kids, I've been the victim of stomach bugs/viruses that apparently my kids are picking up from other germ infested rodents, er...um...I mean, kids and bringing them home to spread generously around me.

I used to never get sick...not like this, anyway. I can recall, just in the last six months having been plagued with the nastiest stomach virus imaginable - which included diarrhea and vomiting. That was fun.

And, so I write to say, that yes... I'm sick with a stomach virus... again, making my day today pretty miserable.

And what's worse, is that we're leaving this afternoon to travel three hours by car for an overnight trip. So, right now, I'm eating Kaopectate like it was candy, hoping that by this afternoon I'll be travel worthy.

Until then... I need to get some rest while KM is being babysat by the tube!

I laughed, I cried... It moved me

Today was the first day of kindergarten.

I laughed...

Call me crazy, but there were moms (and dads) there with video cameras filming the child as they were walking into the class and finding their seats. I told Randy that we must be bad parents because the thought did not even occur to me to bring my digital camera, much less a video camera.

I cried...

The teacher had a "Parent's Care Package" sitting on the table at each child's assigned seat. It consisted of a tissue, a note from the teacher and a tea bag. The tissue, well...that is self-explanatory. The note thanked us, the parents, for entrusting our precious children to them as they travel the learning journey together. And the tea bag was for us to go home, have a hot cup of tea and relax while we know that our children are in good hands. (I'll admit, my tea bag is still in it's original package. I opted for errands instead.) So, yes, I cried... more than what I expected I'd do. I'm such a wimp.

It moved me...

I breathed a sigh of relief when I picked up Elisan today and the first thing she said to me was, "I had fun today!" All that worry for nothing.

Now, if I can just get that drop off/pick up thing down, I'll have it made!

The Diarrhea Loophole

WARNING: Poop talk ahead...




Elisan has just recently learned to wipe herself after having a bowel movement.

I know, I know, she's five!

But, blame it on her anal mother (no pun intended) who is just a little, well...anal... when it comes to bathroom cleanliness. I would rather take matters into my own hands, so that explains why I've waited so long to teach her how to wipe.

Well, that... and the fact that Elisan hates to wipe herself.

With Kindergarten starting this week, I'm glad that she has finally learned to wipe herself. I don't imagine that the teacher would be impressed with Elisan (or with me, for that matter) if she was still hollering, "I'm donnnnnnne!" once she finished her business.

But, leave it to my little girl to discover a loophole in the B.M. wiping department.

It's diarrhea.

She knows me well enough, to know that I will wipe a diarrhea poop because... well...I'm anal like that. And because of this, she uses the diarrhea loophole A LOT. Even when there isn't just cause.

So, now, instead of hearing "I'm donnnnnne!" I hear, "Mommy, it's a diarrhea and it's naaaaasty!"

I can't wait for the first note to come home in Elisan's backpack explaining that in Kindergarten, they do not wipe the student's rear-ends.

The Family Pet

"I'm really, really, super really, telling you the truth!" she says. "Mommy. Really. I am!"

Okay, I have fallen for this little performance before, I'll admit it. But, not anymore.

Yesterday, I asked her what she wanted for lunch and she told me, "Chocolate sandwich." So, when it came time to sit down for lunch, she said, "I don't want this."

Me, "Well, you asked for it, so you are eating it."

Her, "I didn't! I super really didn't ask for a chocolate sandwich! Really!"

Randy joins in, "Yes you did, I heard you. Now, eat."

This, of course, goes on for a few minutes, which resulted in a final ultimatum from me, "You don't get down, until you eat it."

So, about 20 minutes later passes, along with a potty break and she finally decides to eat her lunch. KM has finished her lunch, but is hovering nearby.

I leave the room for two seconds... Okay, more like 2 minutes and I come back and see KM with a mouth-full of food.

I ask Elisan, "Is she eating your food?"

Elisan, "No. She super really isn't!"

I ask KM, "What's in your mouth?"

She opens her mouth to show me a mouth full of chocolate sandwich and says, "Chwocwate sawich."

So, now, not only is Elisan just lying for the sake of super really lying, and meanwhile, KM is now the family pet.

Happy Birthday, Sweet Baby Girl

Today is my baby's birthday!

She's five, going on fifteen.

I love you my sweet baby girl!

Love, Mommy

Inspiration

For the last year, at least two of my posts have been about the grocery store. (Read about them here and here.)

Yet again, a post inspiration centers around the check-out line.

Yesterday, I had some last minute shopping to do before my folks and two nephews arrive for their 3 day stay. I needed to get those items that are a must for two growin' boys - soda, chips... you know, the staple food.

So, I get to the line and I see the check out guy doesn't have anyone to bag the groceries for his lane.

(Sidebar: If you are reading my blog and do not live in Texas where they BAG YOUR GROCERIES for you...well, I'm sorry. It's just another reason to love living in Texas!

I didn't realize this was NOT normal, until I moved out of Texas!

But, at least in Minnesota, they provided the bags! In Denmark, heck... you had to buy your own grocery sacks AND then bag them yourself! Hmph! Europeans! But, I digress.)

I happily jump in and begin bagging my own groceries because I didn't want to hold up the line with all of my stuff piling at the end and no one there to bag it.

So, I'm bagging my stuff, albeit, not properly, and a girl comes up and tells me she'll take over.

Well, then I noticed, that she is taking my stuff out of the grocery cart and is re-bagging it. Um? Hello?

I mean, I know I didn't do it right, but geez, y'all were short handed! I was helping you! And now... you are showing me, that I was doing it wrong!

Okay, so I was put in my place, that I don't belong in the bagging end of things, but that's okay. I mean, I hated bagging my own stuff in Minnesota and in Denmark.

So, from now on... I'll let my stuff pile at the end and hold up the line! That will show 'em!

Me? Jealous?

This afternoon, the girls and I headed out to one of our favorite local restuarants.

Unfortunately, it was also "Happy Hour" and we were there with a bunch of business types taking advantage of the cheap margaritas and dollar drafts.

So, I'm sitting there, looking all 'mom-like' with my almost dry hair (still wet from the swimming pool earlier), barely a stitch of make-up on and the same clothes I've been wearing since 7:00 a.m. this morning. The girls... well, they didn't look much better than I did.

I couldn't help but look around at all of the stylishly dressed women and one in particular caught my attention. She was sitting at the table next to ours, so close, in fact, that I could overhear bits and pieces of her conversation.

She was talking about her day, and apparently it was her first day on a new job. I could hear her tell her husband how "they" thought she was "one of the girls" and how "they" - the staff - talked about her all day long. I gathered that she was some sort of hot-shot at this new job, by the way she was talking about "them".

Eavesdropping on her conversation made feel somewhat jealous. I don't know why. Maybe it was because she was a 'big-shot' and wore fancy clothes? Or maybe because she was having a conversation that didn't start with, "Today, the girls did (fill in the blank here)."

But, then I noticed that she didn't seem very happy at all. She only laughed when she refered to the staff members when they thought she was "one of them". She looked tired and she was not smiling.

Then I looked over at my dinner guests and they were happy and they were smiling, which in turn, made me happy and made me smile. They were talking (even if it was incessantly) about the ice cream they were going to eat after dinner and the fun they had today with their friends at the pool. They were even grabbing my hand and giving me wet sticky ice cream kisses on my hand.

So, jealous that I was not having an adult conversation? Yeah, sure.

Jealous, that I was not wearing fancy designer label clothes? Yeah, for sure.

Jealous that she is a big shot at her new job that will indelibly create unwanted stress in return? Maybe...

But, jealous of not being happy? Of not smiling? No way!

I love my life and my job as a wife and mother. It's a job I take very seriously. And, although the pay is low, the reward is high.

It's a reward that lasts a lifetime!

Big K (no, not K-Mart)

Kindergarten is starting NEXT WEEK. Yikes!

I am really nervous about Kindergarten! And, how is it that I'm old enough to have a kid in Kindergarten?

I know Elisan will love, love, love it. Me? Not so much.

I worry that I will fail. How's that for turning the tables?

There's so much pressure now... getting there on time, packing lunches and/or remembering lunch money, picking her up on time. And what's worse, our commute is on the worst stretch of road imaginable in Texas, so traffic will be horrid some days.

What about the teacher? I mean, do I try too hard for her to like me? Or do I step back and just observe? Should I make efforts to be (overly) involved in Elisan's class and be the mom that does everything and not give anyone else a chance? And should I try to out-do the other moms? Or just go with the flow....?

It's so hard! Will I be the goody-goody mother? Or the slacker mother? Or will KM preclude me from doing anything remotely related to the school because she will run hog-wild in any situation that requires thought and preparation?

Who knew Kindergarten would be so hard?

But, as far seeing my big girl head off to Kindergarten... I'm proud! She will love it, because that is the kind of kid she is!

Her mother on the hand...she's had 33 (nearly 34 years) of neurosis built up... just enough to make her a little loopy sometimes!

The Nerd Test

Brought to you by Amanda, my lightly nerdy friend.

Here's my score:
"Not nerdy, but definitely not hip."



**UPDATED: Randy scored an 80! Haha!

Mixing it up

This afternoon, Elisan asked me if I would play a game of Candyland with her. I told her I would, but I needed to finish up some work before I was able to play.

She said okay, and told me that she'd mix (or shuffle) the cards for me.

So, I sit down to play with Elisan and KM. KM goes first because she is the youngest and draws a gumdrop. Whoohoo... she's half-way there.

Next, it's Elisan's turn and before the card is even turned over completely, she's whooping and hollering because she drew the ice cream card - which takes her to 3/4 of the way to the end!

Hmmm, something's fishy.

She's all giddy because she's going to win and of course I called her out on her cheatin'.

So, all that time she was supposed to be mixing the cards, she was actually 'fixing' the cards.

The little sneak!

Everyone gets a turn

When it comes to meal time blessings, we all get a turn.

Recently, KM has shown an interest in saying the prayer and here's how it goes:

"Jesus. (mumble mumble mumble) food. (mumble mumble mumble) Mommy and Daddy. (mumble mumble mumble) all th' blessin's. (mumble mumble mumble) Mommy and Daddy."

(At this point, I'm usually having to guide her to the Amen part.)

Then she raises both arms and says, "I did it!"

It's sweet and so super cute. It's one of those moments you wish you could capture forever.

But, then reality sets in, when you hear your oldest child chime in and say, "No you didn't! Mommy had to help you!"

Ahhhh, those sweet, sweet memories!

Business Order

Yesterday, I sent KM to the bathroom before we headed out to the pool.

KM ran to the bathroom and Elisan, on her own accord, followed her into the bathroom to supervise.

KM got out potty seat and positioned it correctly over the toilet. She pulled the stool up to the toilet and then sat on the seat.

She reached for the toilet paper and pulled off just the right amount of paper and THEN...it happened.

She wiped BEFORE she peed.

Mayhem broke out.

Elisan started screaming, "That's not potty training! You don't wipe yet! You have to pee first!"

This is my life.

Perseverance

"Vitality shows in not only the ability to persist
but the ability to start over."
~F. Scott Fitzgerald

I witnessed a perseverance in Elisan that I've never seen in myself. She must get that from her dad. Truth be told, she is much like her dad, when it comes to perseverance.

Elisan finally learned how to swim. It was not by the help of anyone, other than herself. And the only way she learned was by trying over and over and over (and over and over and over) again. Literally.

Until finally, she looked up and said, "Mommy, watch me (for the 100th time) I'm swimming!"

And what do you know, she was.

My heart was bursting with joy, because I saw a quality in my child, that I do not possess, but often times wish I did.

Watch Elisan swim here!

There's a reason why...

I've finally figured out the beauty of playdates and the reason why the exist!

Elisan had her very first playdate at our house today with a neighborhood friend.

And get this... It was pure bliss!

It was 3 hours of straight, uninterrupted, non-disputing play! I even had to check on them a few times to make sure they were still alive, because they were so quiet.

And... And... they even included Kyla Mae in their play, which before, has been an issue at the playground, etc.

Hello? Is this the dirty little secret of mom's everywhere?

And why am I the last to know about it?

I always considered the thought of having another child destroying the house as a... hmmm, I don't know... a burden? Yes?

But, no! It's the exact opposite! It was bliss! Pure bliss, I tell you!

I've invited her over again for next week because there's some stuff that just ain't getting done otherwise...

It's fun when Daddy's not here!

That's what Elisan said today.

Shocking!

Let's see... they get to stay up late, since it's just us girls.

They get to eat a chocolate (Nutella) sandwich for lunch and dinner, since I don't cook while Randy is gone.

They get to go fun places and do fun things, since I am trying to wear them out so they'll be too tired to fight.

They get to take long luxurious baths in my tub, since I am grabbing a shower at the same time.

They get to rent a DVD from the video store, since I need at least 75 minutes of quiet.

And finally, they get to live in a not-so-spotless-home, since I put the cleaning on hold until Randy returns.

So, yes... perhaps it is fun when Daddy is not here, and not just for them, but for me too!

Sweet Little Bedtime Prayer

Last night, Elisan prayed for Daddy, that while he is on his business trip...

"...he won't get the poops while he is away."

It took everything I had to not bust out laughing!

(Read about the poops here!)

Dignity

I think I lost my dignity this weekend.

I bought a pair of roller blades last week, because we're getting Elisan some roller blades for her upcoming birthday. I figure, she'd be more apt to learn, if she saw that Mommy and Daddy could both roller blade.

So, this weekend, we all gear up on our wheels and we take to the streets.

Well, back up... they take to the streets... I am lying in the grass because I fell getting off of the driveway.

So, with some assistance from Randy, I make it to the street. Once there, I'm waving my arms like a mad-woman trying to maintain balance. Randy gives me few basic pointers and I begin to skate. I'm doing pretty good for a beginner and then I try to stop.

Let me just say, that I'm an 80's girl, and when I skated as a kid, the brakes were on the front of the skate. So, what'd I do? I didn't stop! Unless you consider hitting the pavement, as stopping.

So, shortly thereafter, we called it a day. We tried again on Sunday, and this time I did a little better, but I created my own stopping style, by doing a little turn. Its working for now.

It bugs me that I can't roller blade, because I was a great skater at one time. That was like 20 years ago, though. But, this roller blading thing... wow, it's really hard.

And, I'm sore. Now, that's pathetic!

Called Out

I've been called out by my husband!

Randy has been complaining about my alleged snoring as of late, and truthfully, if anyone has any room to complain, it is me, me, me! Randy sometimes snores so loud, I don't know how he doesn't wake himself up with his own noise... but, that's not the topic of today's discussion.

Today's topic is about my snoring.

Yesterday, after the alarm went off, and we were lying in bed, Randy began fumbling around with his phone. The next thing I know, he puts it to my ear and I hear this awful snoring!

My husband recorded my snoring on his cell phone.

The nerve! How dare he knock me down from my "I DO NOT SNORE" pedestal!

So, now, I must finally come clean with the fact that -gasp- I snore.

Oh, the shame of it all.

A Moment of Silence

I am a genius!

I had a moment of silence yesterday and I just had to share it with the world!

Yesterday, Elisan was particularly chatty. Okay, really... everyday she is particularly chatty, but I needed to get some work done and I couldn't concentrate for all of the questions and commentary.

So? What'd I do? I put her mouth in time-out!

And you know what? It WORKED!

I told her she could play, but for five minutes she could not talk! Again, let me reiterate... it WORKED! Hello, I'm a genius!

Feel free to re-create my genius in your own home!

Who are you?

Have you ever had one of those moments when you look at your child and say,

"Who are you?"

I have those moments often. Especially now, that Elisan is almost five. The things that come out of her mouth amaze me - and sometimes not in a good way.

But mostly, it's the stuff that she does that is so far reaching from my personality (or Randy's) that it makes me wonder where she gets this stuff.

For example, Elisan never meets a stranger. Me, however? I'm slowly coming out of my shell - at 33! Randy? To him, everyone is a stranger - sometimes even his own family!

Elisan talks incessantly. I talk A LOT, but not nearly the amount as Elisan talks. Randy never talks. Which kind of makes things hard, when you have an incessant talker, an average women talker, a newly talking talker and a no talker in the house.

That brings me to KM. She is our newest talker and boy, is she LOUD! I mean, for such a petite little girl, she can definitely get your attention. Perhaps she is having to compete with the incessant talker. Yes?

I can safely say that KM is not like Randy or me in the "loud" department.

And yet, there are so many ways in which our kids favor us, mimick us, and carry out our traits. But, I'm glad that I often pause and say to myself (or even outloud), "Who are you?" because it reminds me that they are not clones of Randy and me (thank God!), but unique little beings, in and of themselves!

The Trade Off

I've HAD IT!

I've HAD it with my car! It's small, we're cramped and the glove compartment rivals the trunk in storage capacity!

Over the 4th of July holiday, I began my campaign for a new vehicle. And, when I say campaign, I should really say tirade, because it was not pretty. I'll admit it.

But, I needed to get my point across to my husband, who is a self-proclaimed tight-wad. So, I lobbied hard for a new vehicle. But, it wasn't working, because he had just bought a new truck last year that was designated as our "family vehicle" and we had just spent a bucket load of cash tuning up the (ever reliable) BMW, plus, not to mention new tires all around.

Then, he had a light bulb moment! He decided, rather than trade in my car, he'd trade in his (almost) brand new truck for ME (that's right, folks! FOR ME!!!) a new SUV.

His Saturday was spent going from dealership to dealership. I was not there, because I was on the road traveling back from our hometown. And truthfully, the way Randy car deals... I wouldn't want to be there anyway! He's totally hard-core!

So, anyway... our first choice was a TOYOTAL FJ CRUISER. Well, if you live in Austin, then forget it, because there is a 6 month long waiting list!

After test driving several vehicles, my husband settled on a Nissan Xterra. The dealer give him a great deal! They are in the office, doing the dealership song n' dance, when it comes down to the trade in. The dealer offered my husband only $12K for the truck he paid over $20K for last year. And, it only has a little over 10K miles on it!

Um, what? Tell me you are kidding, right?

So, he walked. And one thing I know for sure... when Randy walks out, he ain't coming back! He is done with you, you miserable car dealers!

So, no new SUV for me. But, I did finally cool off enough to come up with a nice trade off, for the lack of a trade in.

I told my husband that I'd hang on to the car for another year and in that compromise, I promised not to complain relentlessly about how small the car is, or how cramped we are, or how I can't even fit the groceries in the trunk, or how the a/c just doesn't cool enough anymore. I mean, don't get me wrong, I will be thinking it, I just won't be saying it outloud - unless you count low mumblings... and then it will be so quiet only I will get the satisfaction from it.

So, there... that's my trade off.

I'm already shopping around for my next vehicle. I think I'm going to pass on the FJ Cruiser. I don't know if I can get with the gun-slit windows and the suicide doors.

Oh! The Pressure!

So, for those that know me, know that I put a lot of pressure on myself, but I've been getting better.

I've got a church dinner club party on Friday, a church team party on Sunday (at our home!) and a lunch with two church friends (here!) on Tuesday.

For someone like me... that's pressure!

The last few dinner club meetings I've attended, I've brought excellent side dishes and three, count them, 1-2-3, fresh homemade dips and salsas! I so totally rocked on this one! But, for this one...I'm blank. I can't repeat what I made the other times, but they were sooooo good, that I kind of want to take the low-road and duplicate my genius!

Okay, so the team member party here at the house will be a lot of fun, IF, I can keep myself from fretting over everything. That, in and of itself, will be a challenge. I figure, if only the downstairs is clean, that will be good enough. Everyone is bringing a snack to share, so the food will be handled by the group. Drinks - no brainer... Soda all around!! But, I just know I will clean, clean, clean until the minute they walk in the door, so I'll be so totally exhausted! Oh, the joy of hosting!

The lunch - well, it's a working lunch to brainstorm ideas. Shouldn't be too stressful, but I'm preparing the meal. I'm planning on doing this yummy light pasta salad, but it has every veggie imaginable. Okay, well maybe not every vegetable imaginable, but close. One of my biggest pet peeves is making something and seeing the people who are eating it, pick out the items they don't like - like olives, onions, tomatoes, etc. Okay, so the pet peeve is not really with them, it is with me, because I didn't make a dish that everyone RAVED about. Oh, the horror!

As I'm sitting her making my grocery list, I know I've got nothing in my mind that will blow everyone away. So, if you are reading and have a 'blow-them-away' recipe, please share. But, it has to be a SIDE DISH for Friday and a LITE LUNCH IDEA for Tuesday.

Okay! So, I'll be waiting, but I only have until 9:00 a.m. TODAY before I head out to the grocery store! Thanks!

Adventures without a babysitter!

Over two weeks ago, Randy came home and said, "Hun, we're going out! The company is rewarding my team for work that we accomplished and they are treating my crew (and one guest) to dinner."

Okay, first of all... Randy's company spending frivolous money? Is the sky falling? Second, spending frivolous money on guests? The sky is falling!

So, I get busy working on getting a babysitter, because this is truly a monumental event to be included on a business dinner/reward thingy/spouses invited/at a fancy resturant.

I send out one email - get rejected. Second email, rejected. Third email, rejected again! It is soon becoming comical.... Fourth email, rejected. I think I sent out a total of 7 emails to some of the teenagers from church and NUTHIN'! Not one person could babysit for us - on a Monday night, no less!

It wasn't like I was trying to set up a babysitter for New Year's Eve, the day of... it was for a Monday night! Argh!

So...the gist? I didn't get to go. But, Randy promised me that he'd take me out on another night, once I could scare up a babysitter!

Meanwhile, Randy rolls in around 11:00 p.m. from his dinner. He has learned not to gloat about the yummy food that he has had, unless he is asked...which I did, because I have to be able to "gauge" the amount of food he ate, to the amount of money that was spent so that he can make it up to me.

I mean, what's the point, if I cannot go to an equally yummy/expensive resturant as he did?

What? What was that? Am I keeping score, you ask?

Ummmm, yeah, you're darn tootin' I am! I'm totally immature that way.

And I wonder why Randy calls me "spoiled" sometimes!

Road Rash

As I type, I am resisting the urge to scratch my skin into shredded bits! I've got a rash and it is driving me nuts!

While I was on the road to pick up Elisan from her grandparent's house, it seemed as if my mild skin irritation, turned into a wild flaming rash all over my body! Only my face is spared!

What I thought was a chlorine rash, has turned out to be something more. It turns out, I am allergic to amoxicillin - which is odd, because I have never been allergic to this particular antibiotic before.

I looked amoxicillin up on the internet and found out that a potential side-effect was "rash". Of course, "rash" can also be found under aspirin and tylenol. It didn't describe rash as "the most irritating skin condition known to man", but just simply as "rash". What does that mean?

Meanwhile, I am still trying not to scratch...ooops, I just did!

I'm going to the dr. today, so hopefully by the end of the week, I won't scare away women and children with my hideous-ness!

Deprogramming

Oh, you know what I mean by "Deprogramming." It's when your kid has had waaaay to much time with the grandparents and needs to be deprogrammed from the candy high and bleary television eyes.

So, was the week long haitus from Elisan - oooops, did I just say that? I meant to say... was the week long vacation for Elisan worth it in the end, if the next two weeks will be spent deprogramming my girl?

We'll see. In the end, it was a quiet week for us. I think KM loved having our undivided attentions and totally used that to her advantage. She may only be two, but she's a smart one, that's for sure. In fact, it may be KM that needs to be de-programmed once Elisan returns.

As for me? I'll be honest... it's been nice not having the fussing, fighting, whining and complaining that comes from having both girls here. But, it's just not the same without my big girl home.

I miss her and can't wait for the chaos to begin again!

Rite of Passage

Elisan is notorious for pointing out the obvious, as I'm sure, most four-almost-five-year-olds are.

There is no other way to describe what it is that I'm about to write about, without being completely graphic.

Proceed with caution...

Randy oftentimes leaves skid-marks in the toliet. Elisan however, refers to them as brown polka dots.

Today, Elisan hollered out to me excitedly that she too, left brown polka dots in the potty --just like Daddy.

I'm so proud.

Sink or Swim (...or sink)

At the end of the Summer last year, Elisan was jumping into the swimming pool like you would expect a three year old to --with sheer abandonment! She loved the water and wanted to go swimming every day.

This year, I signed her up for swim lessons thinking that 'Okay, she's ready! She will be swimming by the end of the two week course!' WRONG! If anything, she is more afraid of the water, this year, than she was at the beginning of swim season last year!

So, anyway, there goes $100.00 down the water drain... but, I think, 'Okay, well, it's the beginning of the swim season, maybe she just needs to get acclimated again to the water.'

You'd think, right? Well, we've been swimming about 4 times since her last swim class and she's still afraid. Oh, yes... she'll swim with a foam noodle, life vest, inflatable ring, etc., but jumping in, getting her face wet or God Forbid, get splashed! -gasp- That is just cause for waling and screaming, that truthfully, is just plain.... okay, I'm going to say it.... embarrassing. Especially, when the little girl next to Elisan, that is trying to initiate play with her, is a young four year old, who is swimming without any floatation device and is jumping and diving into the water.

Meanwhile, I've finally got KM to jump from the side of the pool into my arms and she is having a blast. She is wearing a life vest and rightfully so... she's only two.

Maybe KM will begin swimming before Elisan and will encourage Elisan to begin swimming on her own. But, not likely... Elisan is unfazed by peer pressure -- a trait that will serve her well, in about 8 years! Oh, who am I kidding, more like 5 years!

Our Two Best Girls: Cause and Effect

Our Two Best Girls: Cause and Effect

Kyla Cuteness

That KM is so darn cute! Here are her latest words:

Bebo = hair bow
patterpillar = caterpillar
buebus = school bus
fwimming = swimming
bi bish = Care Bear diapers (She is referring to the movie: Care Bears and The Big Wish")
fefest = breakfast
sissy = Elisan (Even when you tell her to say ELISAN, she says "Sissy")
Mae Mae = Kyla (Same as above...still)
watey = water (in reference to ICE WATER she will say: "ice watey ice watey ice"
stickay = Sticker
boo boosh = pickle

And one final little story:

On the way home from church about two weeks ago, KM was saying, "Hit my back, Mommy! Hit my back!" I asked her who had hit her back and she said, "Snack you." I'm thinking, some other two year old hit her back at snack time. Later, the said it again, "Hit my back!" So, I ask again who hit her back, and she said, "Snack you. Snack you hit my back! Huuuuuurt!" Okay, I got it now.... there's a two year old in her class, named MATHEW.

So, I told her from now on, when Mathew hits her back, she needs to say, "No Mathew. Don't hit my back!" So, she says that now... ALL THE TIME...in the car, at the dinner table, during playtime, etc. "No hit my back, snack you!"

If she weren't saying "snack you" it wouldn't be so funny, but it is, and you'll just have to trust me on this one.

Okay, you got it, I'm going now....

The Philistines

Randy is going to the Philippines for a business trip.

The other night, E asked, "Daddy, when are you going to the Philippines? Or is it the Philistines?"

You know your child is getting something out of Sunday school when they say something like that! I guess she could have said "Philippians" and that would have been cute too.

The "How-To Steps" on How To Rationalize with a (Screaming) Two-Year Old

Step 1: Recognize the problem that has upset your child.
Step 2: Focus his/her attention of the positives of the situation.
Step 3: Remain calm and understand your child is just having difficulty expressing his/her -self.
Step 4: Speak gently and quietly to your child, letting them know that you are trying to help them.
Step 5: If none of the above work, remove your child from the situation to help resolve the problem quickly.

Now...go on, print these steps out and throw them in the trash... because there ain't ONE THING in the world that's gonna help you rationalize with a screaming two year old!

Haha.... yes, that's funny, I know... But seriously, example:

There we are at Luby's (Kid's Eat Free Nite - the place was jammed packed!) The girls did beautifully waiting in the line that wrapped around and around and around. I even smugly thought how wonderfully MY kids were behaving.

We get through the line, get to our table and that's where mayhem met Mommy.

Kyla Mae says, "Sissy's plate! Me!" (She wanted the blue-divided plate. They only give you one blue divided plate when you buy ONE kids's meal. But, since it is soooo much food, I usually have them split it, leaving only ONE blue divided plate. KM gets the little saucer for her food, which, until this week, has never been an issue.)

By this time, Elisan has already begun eating.

I tell KM, "No, that's sissy's plate. Eat!"

KM says or, rather screams, "Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo----->!" and continues screaming "No" for the next 3 minutes.

Yep. She was not going to rationalize with me, unless I gave her that plate, which I didn't. I ended up ignoring her, to the dismay of the other patrons.

She finally settled down and ate --happily. But, gee whiz... I think she's gonna get the blue divided plate next time.

Happy Mother's Day

Elisan brought home the Mother's Day card she made at school. The teacher would ask her a question, and she'd answer the blank. Here's what the card said:

"My mommy is 33 years old. Her hair is gold and her eyes are green. My mom works at church and she makes hairbows.

My mom loves to relax by lying on the couch and she likes to wear a dress.

She loves to cook cereal.

Her favorite thing to do around the house is mop. (what???)

Her favorite TV show is the news and her favorite song is church songs.

It makes her happy when I hug her.

If she could could go on a trip, she would go to California and she would take her books. I really love it when my mom and I play.

God made my mom the best because she's the best mom in the whole world.

ISN'T THAT THE SWEETEST THING IN THE WHOLE WORLD?!?!??

Forward Roll

Okay, so I'm in the bathroom and -gasp- there is only an empty cardboard cylinder on the holder!

"Oh poop!" I mumble... (pun intended!)

So, I say to my eldest child, "Elisan, go get Mommy a roll of toilet paper, puh-leezzzzz!"

So, she comes back with a roll and hands it to me. I do my thing, then place the roll on the holder.

Then I notice out of the corner of my eye that my daughter is taking the roll off of the hanger and turning it around, so that the t-p is hanging down from the roll, rather than over the top of the roll.

I knew exactly what she was doing, but wanted her to explain it to me.

I asked, "Elisan, whatcha doin'?"

She said, "I'm fixing the toilet paper."

I play dumb, "What do you mean?"

She said, "I like it when the paper hangs down." Good enough for me, I thought....

What's funny, is that I am soooo totally anal (pun intended...) about certain things in life, but so totally non-anal about matters of the direction of the toilet paper.

Forward roll, backward roll... it doesn't matter to me - only that there is toilet paper on the roll! But, apparently it matters to my four year old daughter.

Which is kind of funny to think about - a four year old, having a toilet paper preference. I mean, isn't this something that is discussed between adult women on the playground, or something like that?

Yeah, I dunno...

Could it be that a month has passed without a single blog entry from me?

-->Yes, yes! I think so!

And what has been keeping me so super busy that I can't write a simple story detailing our life?

-->Yeah, I dunno...

I will place the blame on my children, who usually provide me with ample material to write about, but as of late, they have been so challenging that I'm so worn out by the day's end, I just give up and go to bed.

So, there it is - Excuse # 582 in Erica's book of why I've neglected you.

The Wish Flower

On the way to the mailbox, we stopped to pick a dandelion.

Elisan held her flower close to her face and whispered her wish. I listened in.

"I wish I had the best mommy in the whole world", she said and then blew her wish flower.

I took a moment, my heart growing with love, then I stopped. Wait! She wished for the best mommy in the world, as if she didn't already have the best mommy in the world.

Then, she turned to me, hopping excitedly and said, "Mommy, I wished for you!"

Okay, so now...my heart begins to swell again! I give her a big hug and we continue our walk.

Then, she says, "But, mommy, wishes are only pretend, right?"

Er...um... "Yes, sweetie, only pretend."

St-ahs

We were watching early morning cartoons today, and there is a segment, when they do a mini-science project with kids. One of the kids must've been from like JERSEY or somethin'.

Anyway, the little boy said "St-ahs" in reference to "Stars".

Elisan said, "St-ahs? Mom! It's 'Sta-RS', not 'st-ahs'. We say it RIGHT, don't we Mommy?"

She's asking me? The Queen of the Drawl?

But, my answer was indeed, "Yes!"

Reminds me of the time in Minnesota, when I was standing in the check-out line at the grocery store for the first time. I was waiting for them to begin bagging my groceries and the check-out girl said something like this (as equally as rude, but I don't recall the exact wording...)

Her: "You gonna start begging your groceries?"

Me: "HUH!?"

Her: "You gonna start begging your groceries? So you don't hold up the line?"

Me: "Beg?"

Her: "Yeah, beg 'em"

Me: (lightbulb moment!) "Oh, you mean BA-G. You want me to bag my groceries? Oh, yeah, sure..."

Not only was I floored that I had to bag my own groceries... the HORROR! But, the word "Beg" for "Bag"? That was even more astounding!

I'm sure my diction is not all that great, and I sure know that my grammar is lack-luster from time to time..., but at least my 4 year old understands me!

(I cannot wait until she begins correcting my grammar though! What a joy that will be!)

I must've fallen off the planet...

Um, it's been like three weeks since my last entry! My sincerest apologies to my faithful readers -- all three of you!

Life is flying by. Seriously, where have the last three weeks gone? I dunno.

I can't really account for all of the time, other than it has just been hectic.

We've been busy, and here is what I CAN account for:

1. My inlaws visited and we had the subsequent "WAGNER FEST" at our house, including the Pendleton Grandparents.
2. We've attended 2 open houses for the private school that we are sending Elisan to next year.
3. I've busy with church stuff - scheduling events and working every Sunday as the service coordinator.
   
4. Every day stuff, like taking E to preschool, buying groceries, laundry, house cleaning, etc.
5. Oh, and tending to KM falls in there somewhere... poor child!

So, it's been c-r-a-z-y around here. I was hoping after Christmas things would settle down a bit, but it hasn't. Maybe after Valentines Day? Oh! Yeah, that's today.... I'm thinking that it's not going to slow down by tomorrow!

I'm around....if you need me! But, call me on my cell phone!

Potty mouth!

"Poop!"

"Poopy!"

"Stinky bottom!"

"Poopy pants!"

"Nasty poop!"

Need I say more? I mean, really... she's four and she's fascinated with potty talk...Need I say more? (giggle, giggle)

Of course, it doesn't help that her father, is the biggest potty talkin' offender in the house. As Randy pointed out, "behaviors are learned!" Well, I guess she learned from the best! (snicker, snicker)

I must admit. It's comical. And how can I discipline HER, when HE is the biggest initiator? (hee-hee)

Maybe...Just maybe... I can start putting Randy in time-out.

Yeah. I'll let ya know how that goes. (insert "fake" laugh here)

Sleep

Sleep is a big issue around here. Not getting enough, getting too much, just the right amount, etc.

Elisan has been out of her naps for over a year now. However, there were times when she'd "snap" ( a Short Nap) on the couch for an hour or so. It was always pure bliss...

To make a long story short, we began putting Elisan down for naps again to reduce the irritability that we dealt with from her in the evenings. It was either that, or put the poor child to bed at 6 p.m., because man oh, man, the girl turns into a pumpkin come six o'clock.

So, this strategy has been working quite well lately. Can I continue to put her down for naps when she's 15?

Kyla Mae is a good napper. However, she mildly protests when I tell her it's nap time. She will say, "No, night-night!" It's funny, even the mention of naps, bedtime, bed, bedroom, she will say, "No, night-night!"

But, here lately, she has turned on the two year old tantrums and will do a "little" more than mildly protest. There have been times, when I've had to pick her up screaming and haul her up the stairs for bed. This is only at naptime, thank goodness! By bedtime, she is usually racing us to the stairs.

Randy has been going to bed early over the last month. We're talking 8ish. But, to be fair, he is going in to work at 5:15. Poor guy, but it has something to do with managing the bone-head night shift workers during their end of shift meeting. Hopefully, this will not be a new trend! I miss my hubby in the evenings!

Which, leaves me! Because the house is super quiet by 8 o'clock, I have been staying up really late. I like the quiet. It's relaxing. I take time to surf the internet, do a little eBaying, set up some TiVO programs, or just watch mindless T.V.

So, there it is folks. The Wagner's sleeping habits. I'm sure you are a better person now, knowing how we operate around here! I know I feel better.

Goodness, I think I need a nap!

Pinks

Today, as I was sorting laundry, it occured to me, that I have "whites", "tans" (khakis), "darks" and "pinks".

Because I am washing for two little girls, I seem to do more "pinks" than I do other stuff.

However, it's all varying shades of pinks. There's peach, light pink, hot pink, lavender pink, some pinky purples...but, mostly PINK!

Pink, pink, pink! I need to add some more color to the girl's wardrobes! But, would that make more laundry for me? Not only would I have "pinks", but I'd have "yellows", "greens", "purples" and "reds".

Yeah, that doesn't sound like a good idea. I'll stick with the pinks!

Snow!

Oh sure... snow in Texas! That's a good one!

But, don't tell that to Elisan. For some reason my child has forever linked snow with Christmas.

She's very excited about Christmas. This year, she sat on Santa's lap for the first time! She helped decorate the Christmas tree. She has gone shopping and helped me wrap Christmas presents. She has truly been a great little helper this year! She has even made beaded candy cane ornaments for her grandparents and cousins. What a gem!

However, she will be disappointed come Christmas day! Why? Because she will fully understand that there will be no snow on Christmas Day! At least, not in Texas! I mean, seriously, if she wears her coat, it will be a stretch.

Two days ago, she was practicing making snow angels in the carpet! For when? Christmas day, when it snows! She also has been talking about building snowmen with Daddy and having snowball fights.

Oh well... perhaps she would have loved staying in Minnesota... if only for the snow!!

That'll never happen to me!

"That'll never happen to me!"

Ever said that before?

Yesterday, we were loading up the car to go the park. I instructed Elisan and KM to go get in the car. This means, that Elisan will open the car door so KM can climb in and then Elisan will open her door and get in, as well.

This particular day, Elisan opened KM's door, then ran back into the house to tell me something. I walked out with my stuff, put my purse and coat into the front seat, closed the door and told E to get in the car.

Meanwhile, I walk back in the house and the next thing I hear is "click". Kyla managed to push the locks on the car. (Funny thing about the BMW is when you push down one door lock, all of the doors lock down.)

'Um, did KM just lock herself in the car? With my purse and KEYS in the car?!' This isn't happening to me.

Luckily we were home, but both sets of keys (yes, the spare set too) were in my purse. So I was left pleading with KM to open the door...pull up the lock...anything!

She thought I was playing with her and would holler at me, when I hollered at her. She would knock on the window, when I would knock on the window. Point at me, when I would point at the lock. You get the gist.

THEN, she sat in her carseat and began trying to put on her seatbelt! Oh man, that's all I needed was for her to strap herself in the carseat!

I think I was more worried about calling Randy at work to come and rescue the younger, but, by the grace of God - tragedy was averted... After all that yelling, pointing, knocking and laughing, she finally pulled up the door lock!

Yeah, that'll never happen to me - again!

Poop and such

Rule #1
Never leave home without your diaper bag!
(Or, at least check to make sure there are diapers in the diaper bag!)

KM and I spent yesterday morning running errands. Our time was drawing to an end since we were to meet Elisan at school in next 20 minutes. As I was finishing up and paying the cashier, KM told me she had pooped. Okay, no sweat... So, I finished up checking out, then I brought her out to the car to change her diaper.

Okay, I'm sure you get the gist of the story by now, but I won't spare you the details...

I reach for my diaper bag to get the wipes out and (gasp!) there aren't any more diapers! At this point I'm wracking my brain as to whether or not I should just leave her in the diaper until I reach Elisan's school .... Should I go home and do the diaper thing there, then race to back to Elisan's school... or haul ourselves into the nearby Wal-Mart and buy a pack of diapers.

I seriously thought about this decision for at least a minute because I despise Wal-Mart - but, that's an entirely different blog entry.... I finally decided to bring my bare-bottomed toddler into Wal-Mart to buy some diapers.

I'm practically running her through the store because I especially didn't want her to pee on the floor. All the while, she's repeating me by saying, "No pee-pee! No pee-pee!"

We finally make it to the diaper section. I rip open a package, tell her to raise her dress and I expertly diaper my child while she is standing in the aisle of Wal-Mart!

All was right in the world once more.

You know, when I named my blog "Haphazard Happenstances" I really didn't know how true that would be!

Mae Mae and Sissy

Elisan is a hard name to pronounce for a little kid. So, we adopted "Sissy" when referencing Elisan to KM. Sissy is easy to say, and cute to hear.

Elisan not wanting to leave KM out of the nickname game, as taken a shine to calling KM "Mae Mae".

I had no idea Mae Mae was even sticking around, until KM saw a picture of herself and said, "Mae Mae".

In the course of their short little lives, Elisan has been referred to as:
Elisan (of course)
Elle
Elle Rae
Ellie Rae
E-Rae
E2 (thanks to Angie W.)
and now... Sissy

Kyla has been referred to as:
Kyla
Kyla Mae
KM (that's my favorite)
Ky-Ky (sounding much like "cahcah" so I don't say this one often...)
K-Mae
and now...Mae Mae

It will be interesting to find out how long these nicknames stick around, and whether or not they will refer to themselves as Sissy and Mae Mae. I'll keep you posted.

Until then, Mae Mae and Sissy, it is!

Bye Bye Boobies

A few posts back, I expressed a mild concern about KM's speech development. But, I have to hand it to her, because she is trying every day to keep up with the conversations of the day, and even throws out her own commentary from time to time.

Most often it's gibberish, but with lot's of intonation and excitement. She even lilts her voice at the end of a question, albeit, I have no idea what she is asking (or saying for that matter!) But, I always answer because, to her, she is saying something that is worth a response.

But, what's up with that title of this week's blog installment? Yeah, I knew that would catch your attention!

From time to time she comes out with stuff that is just so darn cute. We eat at Luby's most Wednesday evenings before church, because kid's eat free on Wednesdays! (On a side note: I totally recommend it! It's fast, cheap, and you can never beat kids eating for free, plus the food isn't all that bad!)

KM loves Luby's and gives a cheer when we pull into the parking lot. She also gives a happy goodbye when we leave because she loves that place so much.

As we were walking out the other evening, KM turns around and says a hearty, "Bye-Bye Boobies! Bye-Bye Boobies!"

Toe Painting

Elisan came running into the room saying, "Mommy, Kyla is painting her toe nails." I knew exactly what that meant. It meant that I left the (child proof) cabinet door open to my toletries in my bathroom. Ooops!

Well, as you can imagine, there it was... toe nail polish on the carpet. Let me just say that if you ever have toenail polish on your carpeting, DO NOT RUB the surface! I repeat, DO NOT RUB the surface!

Okay, so I rubbed the surface, trying to get it out. Guess what? It only made it worse.

Meanwhile, KM is saying "See, toes!" "See, toes!" "See, toes!"

Oh, and something else, finger nail polish remover does not work to remove finger nail polish from the carpet - FYI.

So, KM is saying "See, toes!", this while I'm scrub, scrub, scrubbing the carpet, wishing I was doing something, ANYTHING, to get it up. Finally, Elisan pipes up and speaks. She doesn't give me any sympathy for the mess that was created...

No, rather she answers KM with, "Yeah, baby, your toes look great!"

That girl is full of compliments I tell ya!

(Oh, and you ask...what did her toes look like? Well, let me paraphrase by sayng....she's TWO.)

"Momma? Too!"

"Momma? Too!" says Kyla.

What does this mean, you ask?

To the untrained ear, my little girl's sentence may sound more like a request. Or, perhaps it could be an exclamation, like "I am two!"

To someone who is not around my little girl every day of the week, may think she's just speaking gibberish. But no... Kyla is very clear in her statement.

To me, her mother, I understand completely what my precious daughter is saying to me. She says it before bedtime or while sitting at the table to eat. I've heard it while I was driving down the road and she'll even stop playing to come to me and say, "Momma? Too!"

Kyla says, "Momma? Too!" and what that means is "Momma, I love you (too)!"

Offering

On the way to church today, I was fishing around in my purse looking for some money to give to Elisan for the church offering. I didn't have any, and I told her to check with Daddy once we got to church.

Once we arrived, she asked Randy if he had any offering, and he did not have any loose change either. Here is how my sweet precious little "big" girl replied:

"I don't have any money to give to Jesus today, so I'll just give Him my heart instead."

Tears filled my eyes.

Our Two Best Girls

Our Two Best Girls

Hush!

This evening at dinner, Elisan was banished to time-out for bad behavior. As she was wailing and crying from her place of banishment, Kyla Mae told her to "hush!"

Priceless.

Toddler Talk

These days, KM is talking more and more. Most of it is still unintelligible, but here's the short list of what she has been saying lately:

"Shish-she" = Sissy
"Shish-she" = Suzie
"Shoe-shoe" = Shoe
"Melmo" = Elmo
"Pack-pack" = Backpack
"Here go" = Here ya go
"I too" = I love you too

At nearly two, she's still not talking like most kids her age. She has only about 20 words/phrases. However, we are not going to seek out professional speech services at this time.

After careful consideration, Randy and I have decided that she will begin to talk and flourish on her own, and then we will not get a word in edge-wise to one another for the next 16 years; Or, at least until she refuses to speak to us...whichever comes first.

The Bluff

bluffed, bluff·ing, bluffs: (verb) To impress, deter, or intimidate by a false display of confidence or strength.

Let me set the scene:
It's snack time and Elisan chose two snacks to eat. In most cases, if Elisan finishes her snack, she can pick out two pieces of candy for her afternoon treat. After I opened both snacks for her, she decided she didn't want one of them.

Here's how it went down.
Elisan: "Mommy, I don't want to eat this chocolate pudding. Now, can I have my candy?"

(Okay, there are two things wrong with this scenario. The first thing, is that for a 'healthy' snack, my kid is eating chocolate pudding. The second, is that the candy is a given in her mind.)

Mommy: "Um, no. You need to finish the pudding."
Elisan: "But, I don't want it anymore."
Mommy: "Well, I'm sorry. You picked it out, so you need to eat it."

(This conversation went on for about another minute or so. That's when I said...)

Mommy: "Well, I guess you can either eat your pudding or be punished."
Elisan: "Mommy, I think I want to be punished."
Mommy: "Okay. Let's go."

(She then followed me into her room for the punishment and realized that I was not bluffing. Then she said...)

Elisan: "Um, I think I want to eat my pudding now."

And she did.

You know you're tired when...

...you sit in the bath tub with your clothes on.

Yesterday, I took the girls swimming. They had such a good time and were so tired afterwards, that they both took naps in the afternoon! (It's virtually unheard of, for Elisan to take a nap anymore.)

It was nearing 5:00, and I had to wrangle the kids up and get them ready for church. I told them to get ready for their bath. Elisan took off her undies and short pants, but thought nothing of getting into the bath tub with her shirt on.

I was about to tell her that she still had her shirt on, and then it dawned on me to get my camera and memorialize the moment.

So, here she is... dog-tired, in the tub, with her clothes on.

Once a pincher, always a pincher...

It's been reported that KM is picking on the little kids at church. She's not even 2, and she's already getting a bad reputation.

I see the look of dread on the teacher's faces when I drop her off, 'Hmmm, there's the pincher...'

And, really, I don't blame them. She's a handful, and on top of that...she's a pincher. She will always be remembered as the little girl who pinched.

On a side note, she's also a biter, but she only bites Elisan when she is fiercely p.o.'ed at her.

Just wait until those nursery kids really make her mad! Once a biter, always a biter...

Nuthin' but lies...

Lies, lies and more lies.

I've really had a go of it lately.

Elisan has begun lying. It's usually because of a toss up between "how much trouble will the truth cost me" decision on her part.

However, today's (lie) installment, was really... just blatant, or as my mom says, "a bold-faced lie."

Here's how things went down:

Elisan: "Mommy, I"m done with my snack."
Mommy: "You are?"
Elisan: "Yep."
Mommy: "Did you eat all of your grapes?"
Elisan: "Yep."
**I didn't believe her, so I check the garbage can and there they were... ALL of the grapes.
Mommy: "What's this?"
Elisan: "Ummmmm..."

Okay, I could go on and on, but you get the gist. So, she was punished and now she has lost her TV priviledges for the day.

Need I remind you that she is three! Three years old! (Okay, she'll be four next week, but still!)

And, so it begins....

Getting Older

(Disclaimer: I have permission from my husband to post this comment.)

Ever have one of those times, where you laugh and laugh and laugh, even days later? Maybe even weeks later?

About 3 weeks ago, Randy was getting ready to go outside to mow the grass. As usual in July, the sun is blazing and it is unbelievably hot outside -- at 9:00 a.m.

He was putting sunscreen on his neck, face and arms, and lip balm with suncreen for his lips. He then went into the bathroom and smoothed on some Desitin, for his chafing.

What was so darn 'pee in my pants' funny was when he emerged from the bathroom and said, "You know you're getting old, when you have to take a Claritin, apply sunscreen, lip balm with sunscreen and butt creme just to go outside."

I love that man!

Time Out

Time out is a beautiful thing...

Kyla Mae has mastered the art of time-out.

When we first began doing time-outs with Kyla Mae (KM) she gleefully went to the spot. It was still a new concept...one in which she embraced. Now, she moseys on over to the spot, not so gleefully anymore.

The other day I sent KM to time out. On her way to the spot, she gathered up her sippy cup and a book. I guess she figured she might as well make the best of her time in isolation.

It was one of those times when you have to look away, because you don't want them to see you laughing.

In the checkout line

The other day, at the grocery store, Elisan is sitting in the buggy as the girl was bagging up our groceries. This is a snippit of the conversation:

"My name is Elisan.
I'm three, but I'm almost four.
My name starts with the letter E.
My name is spelled 'E-L-I-S-A-N'.
My sister's name is Kyla and her name starts with the letter 'K'.
That's my mommy (pointing to me).
Her name is Erica. She's 32."

Then the conversation turns into questioning:

"What's your name?
What letter does it start with?
How many are you?
Who's your mommy?
I haven't seen you here before...are you new?"

There were more, but I didn't catch all of the question/answer session, because I was paying the cashier.

Lisa (I know that now, thanks to Elisan) asked us if we needed help out to our car with the groceries and I politely told her, that I wouldn't possibly subject her to more 3 year old questioning, but thanks anyway.

I think she was relieved.

Are you done?

"Sit down, Kyla!" I tell her. So, she sits.

This has become our newest little game...well, not really a game, but I wouldn't classify it as a battle...yet!

Kyla is insisting upon standing up in her high chair. So, I tell her to sit down. She'll sit for a few more minutes, then she'll begin to stand up again. So, I ask her, "Are you done?" Then, she'll sit down.

Sometimes though, I'll ask her, "Are you done?" and she'll stand there waiting for me to wipe her hands. Yet, the very second I reach for her hands to wipe them, she stuffs more food into her mouth ...smiling.

She's got my number.

Sweet Talk

Elisan is full of it... full of sweet talk that is!

Some recent compliments that have come out of Elisan:

"Ms. Heather, I like your bathing suit."
"Ms. Cyndi, I like your shoes."
"Jacklyn, I love your pants."
"Mommy, I like your earrings."

She's three! It amazes me that she can really like something...that she has an opinion about it...and that she wants you to know!

My friends love it. Well, really, who wouldn't love to be showered with compliments?

Of course, that also reminds me of the time when my mom and Elisan were in a dressing room together. My mom was trying on an outfit and asked Elisan what she thought about it. Her response? "Meme, that looks nasty!"

Peanuts

It was inevitable.

"Mommy, boy's have peanuts and girl's have baginas." This, while eating a popsicle outside.

It reminded me of the (almost) famous line from Kindergarten Cop with Arnold Schwarzenegger, where the kid randomly announces the (almost) exact same line that my Elisan delivered today.

Sure, I can understand the fascination. She doesn't have a peanut, and the only peanut(s) she has seen, is of her play group friends', as they are changing into their bathing suits, etc. Truthfully, I think she's handled the whole "peanut and bagina" idea pretty well.

By the way, we are teaching her the correct pronounciation, but she is only three!

How Many? continued...

On the way to church last night, Elisan asked, "How many is Jesus?"

I answered, "When Jesus lived on the Earth, he was 33." Then she said, "How many is Jesus in Heaven?"

Hmmmm, this one was a tough one, so I just said, "Jesus is as old as Mommy. "

I'm 32, so I figured that answer would be logical to her.

It wasn't good enough, so she said, "I'll ask him."

How Many?

"I'm three. But, I'm almost four," she tells random strangers. "My birthday is August the 12th," she explains.

"How many are you?" That's Elisan's newest question. No one is immune.

The talking to strangers part is new. Not quite sure what to make of it. I have noticed that she will only talk to a stranger if I have interacted with them -- a fellow shopper, a sales person, a person at the mail box, etc. That's acceptable, under those circumstances.

However, I'm not quite sure they appreciate being asked how many they are!

Faces

"This is my happy face," Elisan smiles, while she is looking in the mirror. "And, this is my sad face, Mommy," she is frowning, sort've. "This is my surprised face," and she makes a very expressive face, with her mouth shaped in a circle and eyes wide open.

I then begin to prompt her... "Show me your sleepy face." And, she does. "Show me your silly face." And, she does. "Show me your 'You just got into trouble face'," and the face expression she showed me was her "surprised" face!

Money

"Mommy, we've been to that store," as she points to a clothing store. She then says, "Mommy, you collect pants there." Our last visit to that particular store, I bought a pair of pants. The next day, I returned them. She then says, "Mommy, you collect pants, and Daddy collects money!" How asute! I probed even further.... "Elisan, does Daddy spend money?" And she said, "No." Then I asked, "Elisan does Mommy spend money?" And she said, "Yes, on pants."

The Mommy Song

From a Mom's perspective, there is nothing sweeter than hearing your child sing. But, to hear a song dedicated to you, is enough to make anyone's heart melt!

Tonight I asked Elisan to sing me a "Mommy Song". Here's what she sang:

"Mommy I love you, you make me so happy. You have pretty eyes, that close up and down. Your hair is blonde. You have cheeks and a nose that sneezes." The song goes on for a few more verses, and although, she sings off-key, it's from the heart... and it melts mine.

Red Onion

Tonight, we ate sloppy joes, and I sliced up some red onions for our "manwiches". Kyla was happily sitting in her high chair, eating fruit and pickles, when she saw me put red onions on my sloppy joe. The little beggar began whining for the red onions.

Randy and I chuckled a bit, as I put the plate in front of her. She grabbed several pieces of the onion. She tasted it, then tasted it again. She then popped the whole bite into her mouth. She chewed it for a while without complaint. Then, she decided to spit it out. We kinda expected that to happen. But, it didn't stop her. She resumed eating the remainder of the pieces she piled on her highchair tray and polished them off....this time, without complaint.

Eh? Why not... we like 'em!

Balloon

In the car today, I had the windows down to cool us all off from the heat. Elisan had a balloon in the car, and she was holding it. Well, as you can imagine, she let go of it and two seconds later, it zipped out of the car window. Sheer terror! Elisan screamed that she lost her balloon. The screams were so penetrating, that I (for a split second) considered going back for the balloon. The wailing lasted for at least another seven minutes. I don't think I have ever witnessed anything like it before.

Between the sobbing, I asked her if she wanted Mommy to blow up another balloon when we got home. She quickly said, "No, I don't want another balloon!" then, she reconsidered. "Maybe I do want another balloon! That would make me happy Mommy."

Well, she got another balloon, but rest-assured, it will never reach the confines of the car.

Is Jesus little?

This evening, as I was tucking Elisan into bed, she decided that she no longer wanted to say night-night prayers anymore. We talked a bit about praying and why it is important to pray. I also told her that Jesus loves us very much, and he loves it when we pray to Him. She then asked me if Jesus lived in Heaven. I told her, "Yes, Jesus lives in Heaven, but He also lives in our hearts." I pointed to her heart and to my heart. She thought about it for a second, and asked, "Mommy, is Jesus little?" Precious.

A Bug at McDonalds

We dined at McD's tonight after church. It's always a treat for Elisan to get a Happy Meal after church--a reward for being a good girl. We ate our meals and I was collecting our things to head out the door when Elisan began hollering about fly that had landed on our table. "Mommy a Bug! Look a Bug! Mommy, there's a BUG AT MCDONALDS!" Oh my! Leave it to a three year old to create havoc for the nearby patrons. As we were leaving, I very loudy explained that the bug was only a fly, hoping to leave my fellow diners with a modicum of relief, all the while I was chuckling because, afterall, it was pretty funny.

Splinter

"It Hurts! It Hurts!" my three year old screams at me. "Hold still." I tell her. "I want Daddy," she whines.... I tell her that Daddy will not be as gentle as Mommy. She sniffles for a second, then pauses....yep, she believes that! She had a splinter, or actually rock shard in her big toe. It had been in her toe for over a week now, but finally, last night, I removed it. Wow... I'm surprised she was even able to walk, but I guess there's no amount of pain that will slow a three year old down. Pain is so relative, isn't it? It's also amazing to me, how a kiss and a Clifford the Big Red Dog "boo-boo-band" will cure even the biggest ouch.