Rite of Passage

Elisan is notorious for pointing out the obvious, as I'm sure, most four-almost-five-year-olds are.

There is no other way to describe what it is that I'm about to write about, without being completely graphic.

Proceed with caution...

Randy oftentimes leaves skid-marks in the toliet. Elisan however, refers to them as brown polka dots.

Today, Elisan hollered out to me excitedly that she too, left brown polka dots in the potty --just like Daddy.

I'm so proud.

Sink or Swim (...or sink)

At the end of the Summer last year, Elisan was jumping into the swimming pool like you would expect a three year old to --with sheer abandonment! She loved the water and wanted to go swimming every day.

This year, I signed her up for swim lessons thinking that 'Okay, she's ready! She will be swimming by the end of the two week course!' WRONG! If anything, she is more afraid of the water, this year, than she was at the beginning of swim season last year!

So, anyway, there goes $100.00 down the water drain... but, I think, 'Okay, well, it's the beginning of the swim season, maybe she just needs to get acclimated again to the water.'

You'd think, right? Well, we've been swimming about 4 times since her last swim class and she's still afraid. Oh, yes... she'll swim with a foam noodle, life vest, inflatable ring, etc., but jumping in, getting her face wet or God Forbid, get splashed! -gasp- That is just cause for waling and screaming, that truthfully, is just plain.... okay, I'm going to say it.... embarrassing. Especially, when the little girl next to Elisan, that is trying to initiate play with her, is a young four year old, who is swimming without any floatation device and is jumping and diving into the water.

Meanwhile, I've finally got KM to jump from the side of the pool into my arms and she is having a blast. She is wearing a life vest and rightfully so... she's only two.

Maybe KM will begin swimming before Elisan and will encourage Elisan to begin swimming on her own. But, not likely... Elisan is unfazed by peer pressure -- a trait that will serve her well, in about 8 years! Oh, who am I kidding, more like 5 years!

Our Two Best Girls: Cause and Effect

Our Two Best Girls: Cause and Effect

Kyla Cuteness

That KM is so darn cute! Here are her latest words:

Bebo = hair bow
patterpillar = caterpillar
buebus = school bus
fwimming = swimming
bi bish = Care Bear diapers (She is referring to the movie: Care Bears and The Big Wish")
fefest = breakfast
sissy = Elisan (Even when you tell her to say ELISAN, she says "Sissy")
Mae Mae = Kyla (Same as above...still)
watey = water (in reference to ICE WATER she will say: "ice watey ice watey ice"
stickay = Sticker
boo boosh = pickle

And one final little story:

On the way home from church about two weeks ago, KM was saying, "Hit my back, Mommy! Hit my back!" I asked her who had hit her back and she said, "Snack you." I'm thinking, some other two year old hit her back at snack time. Later, the said it again, "Hit my back!" So, I ask again who hit her back, and she said, "Snack you. Snack you hit my back! Huuuuuurt!" Okay, I got it now.... there's a two year old in her class, named MATHEW.

So, I told her from now on, when Mathew hits her back, she needs to say, "No Mathew. Don't hit my back!" So, she says that now... ALL THE TIME...in the car, at the dinner table, during playtime, etc. "No hit my back, snack you!"

If she weren't saying "snack you" it wouldn't be so funny, but it is, and you'll just have to trust me on this one.

Okay, you got it, I'm going now....

The Philistines

Randy is going to the Philippines for a business trip.

The other night, E asked, "Daddy, when are you going to the Philippines? Or is it the Philistines?"

You know your child is getting something out of Sunday school when they say something like that! I guess she could have said "Philippians" and that would have been cute too.

The "How-To Steps" on How To Rationalize with a (Screaming) Two-Year Old

Step 1: Recognize the problem that has upset your child.
Step 2: Focus his/her attention of the positives of the situation.
Step 3: Remain calm and understand your child is just having difficulty expressing his/her -self.
Step 4: Speak gently and quietly to your child, letting them know that you are trying to help them.
Step 5: If none of the above work, remove your child from the situation to help resolve the problem quickly.

Now...go on, print these steps out and throw them in the trash... because there ain't ONE THING in the world that's gonna help you rationalize with a screaming two year old!

Haha.... yes, that's funny, I know... But seriously, example:

There we are at Luby's (Kid's Eat Free Nite - the place was jammed packed!) The girls did beautifully waiting in the line that wrapped around and around and around. I even smugly thought how wonderfully MY kids were behaving.

We get through the line, get to our table and that's where mayhem met Mommy.

Kyla Mae says, "Sissy's plate! Me!" (She wanted the blue-divided plate. They only give you one blue divided plate when you buy ONE kids's meal. But, since it is soooo much food, I usually have them split it, leaving only ONE blue divided plate. KM gets the little saucer for her food, which, until this week, has never been an issue.)

By this time, Elisan has already begun eating.

I tell KM, "No, that's sissy's plate. Eat!"

KM says or, rather screams, "Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo----->!" and continues screaming "No" for the next 3 minutes.

Yep. She was not going to rationalize with me, unless I gave her that plate, which I didn't. I ended up ignoring her, to the dismay of the other patrons.

She finally settled down and ate --happily. But, gee whiz... I think she's gonna get the blue divided plate next time.

Happy Mother's Day

Elisan brought home the Mother's Day card she made at school. The teacher would ask her a question, and she'd answer the blank. Here's what the card said:

"My mommy is 33 years old. Her hair is gold and her eyes are green. My mom works at church and she makes hairbows.

My mom loves to relax by lying on the couch and she likes to wear a dress.

She loves to cook cereal.

Her favorite thing to do around the house is mop. (what???)

Her favorite TV show is the news and her favorite song is church songs.

It makes her happy when I hug her.

If she could could go on a trip, she would go to California and she would take her books. I really love it when my mom and I play.

God made my mom the best because she's the best mom in the whole world.

ISN'T THAT THE SWEETEST THING IN THE WHOLE WORLD?!?!??

Forward Roll

Okay, so I'm in the bathroom and -gasp- there is only an empty cardboard cylinder on the holder!

"Oh poop!" I mumble... (pun intended!)

So, I say to my eldest child, "Elisan, go get Mommy a roll of toilet paper, puh-leezzzzz!"

So, she comes back with a roll and hands it to me. I do my thing, then place the roll on the holder.

Then I notice out of the corner of my eye that my daughter is taking the roll off of the hanger and turning it around, so that the t-p is hanging down from the roll, rather than over the top of the roll.

I knew exactly what she was doing, but wanted her to explain it to me.

I asked, "Elisan, whatcha doin'?"

She said, "I'm fixing the toilet paper."

I play dumb, "What do you mean?"

She said, "I like it when the paper hangs down." Good enough for me, I thought....

What's funny, is that I am soooo totally anal (pun intended...) about certain things in life, but so totally non-anal about matters of the direction of the toilet paper.

Forward roll, backward roll... it doesn't matter to me - only that there is toilet paper on the roll! But, apparently it matters to my four year old daughter.

Which is kind of funny to think about - a four year old, having a toilet paper preference. I mean, isn't this something that is discussed between adult women on the playground, or something like that?

Yeah, I dunno...

Could it be that a month has passed without a single blog entry from me?

-->Yes, yes! I think so!

And what has been keeping me so super busy that I can't write a simple story detailing our life?

-->Yeah, I dunno...

I will place the blame on my children, who usually provide me with ample material to write about, but as of late, they have been so challenging that I'm so worn out by the day's end, I just give up and go to bed.

So, there it is - Excuse # 582 in Erica's book of why I've neglected you.

The Wish Flower

On the way to the mailbox, we stopped to pick a dandelion.

Elisan held her flower close to her face and whispered her wish. I listened in.

"I wish I had the best mommy in the whole world", she said and then blew her wish flower.

I took a moment, my heart growing with love, then I stopped. Wait! She wished for the best mommy in the world, as if she didn't already have the best mommy in the world.

Then, she turned to me, hopping excitedly and said, "Mommy, I wished for you!"

Okay, so now...my heart begins to swell again! I give her a big hug and we continue our walk.

Then, she says, "But, mommy, wishes are only pretend, right?"

Er...um... "Yes, sweetie, only pretend."

St-ahs

We were watching early morning cartoons today, and there is a segment, when they do a mini-science project with kids. One of the kids must've been from like JERSEY or somethin'.

Anyway, the little boy said "St-ahs" in reference to "Stars".

Elisan said, "St-ahs? Mom! It's 'Sta-RS', not 'st-ahs'. We say it RIGHT, don't we Mommy?"

She's asking me? The Queen of the Drawl?

But, my answer was indeed, "Yes!"

Reminds me of the time in Minnesota, when I was standing in the check-out line at the grocery store for the first time. I was waiting for them to begin bagging my groceries and the check-out girl said something like this (as equally as rude, but I don't recall the exact wording...)

Her: "You gonna start begging your groceries?"

Me: "HUH!?"

Her: "You gonna start begging your groceries? So you don't hold up the line?"

Me: "Beg?"

Her: "Yeah, beg 'em"

Me: (lightbulb moment!) "Oh, you mean BA-G. You want me to bag my groceries? Oh, yeah, sure..."

Not only was I floored that I had to bag my own groceries... the HORROR! But, the word "Beg" for "Bag"? That was even more astounding!

I'm sure my diction is not all that great, and I sure know that my grammar is lack-luster from time to time..., but at least my 4 year old understands me!

(I cannot wait until she begins correcting my grammar though! What a joy that will be!)

I must've fallen off the planet...

Um, it's been like three weeks since my last entry! My sincerest apologies to my faithful readers -- all three of you!

Life is flying by. Seriously, where have the last three weeks gone? I dunno.

I can't really account for all of the time, other than it has just been hectic.

We've been busy, and here is what I CAN account for:

1. My inlaws visited and we had the subsequent "WAGNER FEST" at our house, including the Pendleton Grandparents.
2. We've attended 2 open houses for the private school that we are sending Elisan to next year.
3. I've busy with church stuff - scheduling events and working every Sunday as the service coordinator.
   
4. Every day stuff, like taking E to preschool, buying groceries, laundry, house cleaning, etc.
5. Oh, and tending to KM falls in there somewhere... poor child!

So, it's been c-r-a-z-y around here. I was hoping after Christmas things would settle down a bit, but it hasn't. Maybe after Valentines Day? Oh! Yeah, that's today.... I'm thinking that it's not going to slow down by tomorrow!

I'm around....if you need me! But, call me on my cell phone!

Potty mouth!

"Poop!"

"Poopy!"

"Stinky bottom!"

"Poopy pants!"

"Nasty poop!"

Need I say more? I mean, really... she's four and she's fascinated with potty talk...Need I say more? (giggle, giggle)

Of course, it doesn't help that her father, is the biggest potty talkin' offender in the house. As Randy pointed out, "behaviors are learned!" Well, I guess she learned from the best! (snicker, snicker)

I must admit. It's comical. And how can I discipline HER, when HE is the biggest initiator? (hee-hee)

Maybe...Just maybe... I can start putting Randy in time-out.

Yeah. I'll let ya know how that goes. (insert "fake" laugh here)

Sleep

Sleep is a big issue around here. Not getting enough, getting too much, just the right amount, etc.

Elisan has been out of her naps for over a year now. However, there were times when she'd "snap" ( a Short Nap) on the couch for an hour or so. It was always pure bliss...

To make a long story short, we began putting Elisan down for naps again to reduce the irritability that we dealt with from her in the evenings. It was either that, or put the poor child to bed at 6 p.m., because man oh, man, the girl turns into a pumpkin come six o'clock.

So, this strategy has been working quite well lately. Can I continue to put her down for naps when she's 15?

Kyla Mae is a good napper. However, she mildly protests when I tell her it's nap time. She will say, "No, night-night!" It's funny, even the mention of naps, bedtime, bed, bedroom, she will say, "No, night-night!"

But, here lately, she has turned on the two year old tantrums and will do a "little" more than mildly protest. There have been times, when I've had to pick her up screaming and haul her up the stairs for bed. This is only at naptime, thank goodness! By bedtime, she is usually racing us to the stairs.

Randy has been going to bed early over the last month. We're talking 8ish. But, to be fair, he is going in to work at 5:15. Poor guy, but it has something to do with managing the bone-head night shift workers during their end of shift meeting. Hopefully, this will not be a new trend! I miss my hubby in the evenings!

Which, leaves me! Because the house is super quiet by 8 o'clock, I have been staying up really late. I like the quiet. It's relaxing. I take time to surf the internet, do a little eBaying, set up some TiVO programs, or just watch mindless T.V.

So, there it is folks. The Wagner's sleeping habits. I'm sure you are a better person now, knowing how we operate around here! I know I feel better.

Goodness, I think I need a nap!

Pinks

Today, as I was sorting laundry, it occured to me, that I have "whites", "tans" (khakis), "darks" and "pinks".

Because I am washing for two little girls, I seem to do more "pinks" than I do other stuff.

However, it's all varying shades of pinks. There's peach, light pink, hot pink, lavender pink, some pinky purples...but, mostly PINK!

Pink, pink, pink! I need to add some more color to the girl's wardrobes! But, would that make more laundry for me? Not only would I have "pinks", but I'd have "yellows", "greens", "purples" and "reds".

Yeah, that doesn't sound like a good idea. I'll stick with the pinks!

Snow!

Oh sure... snow in Texas! That's a good one!

But, don't tell that to Elisan. For some reason my child has forever linked snow with Christmas.

She's very excited about Christmas. This year, she sat on Santa's lap for the first time! She helped decorate the Christmas tree. She has gone shopping and helped me wrap Christmas presents. She has truly been a great little helper this year! She has even made beaded candy cane ornaments for her grandparents and cousins. What a gem!

However, she will be disappointed come Christmas day! Why? Because she will fully understand that there will be no snow on Christmas Day! At least, not in Texas! I mean, seriously, if she wears her coat, it will be a stretch.

Two days ago, she was practicing making snow angels in the carpet! For when? Christmas day, when it snows! She also has been talking about building snowmen with Daddy and having snowball fights.

Oh well... perhaps she would have loved staying in Minnesota... if only for the snow!!

That'll never happen to me!

"That'll never happen to me!"

Ever said that before?

Yesterday, we were loading up the car to go the park. I instructed Elisan and KM to go get in the car. This means, that Elisan will open the car door so KM can climb in and then Elisan will open her door and get in, as well.

This particular day, Elisan opened KM's door, then ran back into the house to tell me something. I walked out with my stuff, put my purse and coat into the front seat, closed the door and told E to get in the car.

Meanwhile, I walk back in the house and the next thing I hear is "click". Kyla managed to push the locks on the car. (Funny thing about the BMW is when you push down one door lock, all of the doors lock down.)

'Um, did KM just lock herself in the car? With my purse and KEYS in the car?!' This isn't happening to me.

Luckily we were home, but both sets of keys (yes, the spare set too) were in my purse. So I was left pleading with KM to open the door...pull up the lock...anything!

She thought I was playing with her and would holler at me, when I hollered at her. She would knock on the window, when I would knock on the window. Point at me, when I would point at the lock. You get the gist.

THEN, she sat in her carseat and began trying to put on her seatbelt! Oh man, that's all I needed was for her to strap herself in the carseat!

I think I was more worried about calling Randy at work to come and rescue the younger, but, by the grace of God - tragedy was averted... After all that yelling, pointing, knocking and laughing, she finally pulled up the door lock!

Yeah, that'll never happen to me - again!

Poop and such

Rule #1
Never leave home without your diaper bag!
(Or, at least check to make sure there are diapers in the diaper bag!)

KM and I spent yesterday morning running errands. Our time was drawing to an end since we were to meet Elisan at school in next 20 minutes. As I was finishing up and paying the cashier, KM told me she had pooped. Okay, no sweat... So, I finished up checking out, then I brought her out to the car to change her diaper.

Okay, I'm sure you get the gist of the story by now, but I won't spare you the details...

I reach for my diaper bag to get the wipes out and (gasp!) there aren't any more diapers! At this point I'm wracking my brain as to whether or not I should just leave her in the diaper until I reach Elisan's school .... Should I go home and do the diaper thing there, then race to back to Elisan's school... or haul ourselves into the nearby Wal-Mart and buy a pack of diapers.

I seriously thought about this decision for at least a minute because I despise Wal-Mart - but, that's an entirely different blog entry.... I finally decided to bring my bare-bottomed toddler into Wal-Mart to buy some diapers.

I'm practically running her through the store because I especially didn't want her to pee on the floor. All the while, she's repeating me by saying, "No pee-pee! No pee-pee!"

We finally make it to the diaper section. I rip open a package, tell her to raise her dress and I expertly diaper my child while she is standing in the aisle of Wal-Mart!

All was right in the world once more.

You know, when I named my blog "Haphazard Happenstances" I really didn't know how true that would be!

Mae Mae and Sissy

Elisan is a hard name to pronounce for a little kid. So, we adopted "Sissy" when referencing Elisan to KM. Sissy is easy to say, and cute to hear.

Elisan not wanting to leave KM out of the nickname game, as taken a shine to calling KM "Mae Mae".

I had no idea Mae Mae was even sticking around, until KM saw a picture of herself and said, "Mae Mae".

In the course of their short little lives, Elisan has been referred to as:
Elisan (of course)
Elle
Elle Rae
Ellie Rae
E-Rae
E2 (thanks to Angie W.)
and now... Sissy

Kyla has been referred to as:
Kyla
Kyla Mae
KM (that's my favorite)
Ky-Ky (sounding much like "cahcah" so I don't say this one often...)
K-Mae
and now...Mae Mae

It will be interesting to find out how long these nicknames stick around, and whether or not they will refer to themselves as Sissy and Mae Mae. I'll keep you posted.

Until then, Mae Mae and Sissy, it is!

Bye Bye Boobies

A few posts back, I expressed a mild concern about KM's speech development. But, I have to hand it to her, because she is trying every day to keep up with the conversations of the day, and even throws out her own commentary from time to time.

Most often it's gibberish, but with lot's of intonation and excitement. She even lilts her voice at the end of a question, albeit, I have no idea what she is asking (or saying for that matter!) But, I always answer because, to her, she is saying something that is worth a response.

But, what's up with that title of this week's blog installment? Yeah, I knew that would catch your attention!

From time to time she comes out with stuff that is just so darn cute. We eat at Luby's most Wednesday evenings before church, because kid's eat free on Wednesdays! (On a side note: I totally recommend it! It's fast, cheap, and you can never beat kids eating for free, plus the food isn't all that bad!)

KM loves Luby's and gives a cheer when we pull into the parking lot. She also gives a happy goodbye when we leave because she loves that place so much.

As we were walking out the other evening, KM turns around and says a hearty, "Bye-Bye Boobies! Bye-Bye Boobies!"

Toe Painting

Elisan came running into the room saying, "Mommy, Kyla is painting her toe nails." I knew exactly what that meant. It meant that I left the (child proof) cabinet door open to my toletries in my bathroom. Ooops!

Well, as you can imagine, there it was... toe nail polish on the carpet. Let me just say that if you ever have toenail polish on your carpeting, DO NOT RUB the surface! I repeat, DO NOT RUB the surface!

Okay, so I rubbed the surface, trying to get it out. Guess what? It only made it worse.

Meanwhile, KM is saying "See, toes!" "See, toes!" "See, toes!"

Oh, and something else, finger nail polish remover does not work to remove finger nail polish from the carpet - FYI.

So, KM is saying "See, toes!", this while I'm scrub, scrub, scrubbing the carpet, wishing I was doing something, ANYTHING, to get it up. Finally, Elisan pipes up and speaks. She doesn't give me any sympathy for the mess that was created...

No, rather she answers KM with, "Yeah, baby, your toes look great!"

That girl is full of compliments I tell ya!

(Oh, and you ask...what did her toes look like? Well, let me paraphrase by sayng....she's TWO.)

"Momma? Too!"

"Momma? Too!" says Kyla.

What does this mean, you ask?

To the untrained ear, my little girl's sentence may sound more like a request. Or, perhaps it could be an exclamation, like "I am two!"

To someone who is not around my little girl every day of the week, may think she's just speaking gibberish. But no... Kyla is very clear in her statement.

To me, her mother, I understand completely what my precious daughter is saying to me. She says it before bedtime or while sitting at the table to eat. I've heard it while I was driving down the road and she'll even stop playing to come to me and say, "Momma? Too!"

Kyla says, "Momma? Too!" and what that means is "Momma, I love you (too)!"

Offering

On the way to church today, I was fishing around in my purse looking for some money to give to Elisan for the church offering. I didn't have any, and I told her to check with Daddy once we got to church.

Once we arrived, she asked Randy if he had any offering, and he did not have any loose change either. Here is how my sweet precious little "big" girl replied:

"I don't have any money to give to Jesus today, so I'll just give Him my heart instead."

Tears filled my eyes.

Our Two Best Girls

Our Two Best Girls

Hush!

This evening at dinner, Elisan was banished to time-out for bad behavior. As she was wailing and crying from her place of banishment, Kyla Mae told her to "hush!"

Priceless.

Toddler Talk

These days, KM is talking more and more. Most of it is still unintelligible, but here's the short list of what she has been saying lately:

"Shish-she" = Sissy
"Shish-she" = Suzie
"Shoe-shoe" = Shoe
"Melmo" = Elmo
"Pack-pack" = Backpack
"Here go" = Here ya go
"I too" = I love you too

At nearly two, she's still not talking like most kids her age. She has only about 20 words/phrases. However, we are not going to seek out professional speech services at this time.

After careful consideration, Randy and I have decided that she will begin to talk and flourish on her own, and then we will not get a word in edge-wise to one another for the next 16 years; Or, at least until she refuses to speak to us...whichever comes first.

The Bluff

bluffed, bluff·ing, bluffs: (verb) To impress, deter, or intimidate by a false display of confidence or strength.

Let me set the scene:
It's snack time and Elisan chose two snacks to eat. In most cases, if Elisan finishes her snack, she can pick out two pieces of candy for her afternoon treat. After I opened both snacks for her, she decided she didn't want one of them.

Here's how it went down.
Elisan: "Mommy, I don't want to eat this chocolate pudding. Now, can I have my candy?"

(Okay, there are two things wrong with this scenario. The first thing, is that for a 'healthy' snack, my kid is eating chocolate pudding. The second, is that the candy is a given in her mind.)

Mommy: "Um, no. You need to finish the pudding."
Elisan: "But, I don't want it anymore."
Mommy: "Well, I'm sorry. You picked it out, so you need to eat it."

(This conversation went on for about another minute or so. That's when I said...)

Mommy: "Well, I guess you can either eat your pudding or be punished."
Elisan: "Mommy, I think I want to be punished."
Mommy: "Okay. Let's go."

(She then followed me into her room for the punishment and realized that I was not bluffing. Then she said...)

Elisan: "Um, I think I want to eat my pudding now."

And she did.

You know you're tired when...

...you sit in the bath tub with your clothes on.

Yesterday, I took the girls swimming. They had such a good time and were so tired afterwards, that they both took naps in the afternoon! (It's virtually unheard of, for Elisan to take a nap anymore.)

It was nearing 5:00, and I had to wrangle the kids up and get them ready for church. I told them to get ready for their bath. Elisan took off her undies and short pants, but thought nothing of getting into the bath tub with her shirt on.

I was about to tell her that she still had her shirt on, and then it dawned on me to get my camera and memorialize the moment.

So, here she is... dog-tired, in the tub, with her clothes on.

Once a pincher, always a pincher...

It's been reported that KM is picking on the little kids at church. She's not even 2, and she's already getting a bad reputation.

I see the look of dread on the teacher's faces when I drop her off, 'Hmmm, there's the pincher...'

And, really, I don't blame them. She's a handful, and on top of that...she's a pincher. She will always be remembered as the little girl who pinched.

On a side note, she's also a biter, but she only bites Elisan when she is fiercely p.o.'ed at her.

Just wait until those nursery kids really make her mad! Once a biter, always a biter...

Nuthin' but lies...

Lies, lies and more lies.

I've really had a go of it lately.

Elisan has begun lying. It's usually because of a toss up between "how much trouble will the truth cost me" decision on her part.

However, today's (lie) installment, was really... just blatant, or as my mom says, "a bold-faced lie."

Here's how things went down:

Elisan: "Mommy, I"m done with my snack."
Mommy: "You are?"
Elisan: "Yep."
Mommy: "Did you eat all of your grapes?"
Elisan: "Yep."
**I didn't believe her, so I check the garbage can and there they were... ALL of the grapes.
Mommy: "What's this?"
Elisan: "Ummmmm..."

Okay, I could go on and on, but you get the gist. So, she was punished and now she has lost her TV priviledges for the day.

Need I remind you that she is three! Three years old! (Okay, she'll be four next week, but still!)

And, so it begins....

Getting Older

(Disclaimer: I have permission from my husband to post this comment.)

Ever have one of those times, where you laugh and laugh and laugh, even days later? Maybe even weeks later?

About 3 weeks ago, Randy was getting ready to go outside to mow the grass. As usual in July, the sun is blazing and it is unbelievably hot outside -- at 9:00 a.m.

He was putting sunscreen on his neck, face and arms, and lip balm with suncreen for his lips. He then went into the bathroom and smoothed on some Desitin, for his chafing.

What was so darn 'pee in my pants' funny was when he emerged from the bathroom and said, "You know you're getting old, when you have to take a Claritin, apply sunscreen, lip balm with sunscreen and butt creme just to go outside."

I love that man!

Time Out

Time out is a beautiful thing...

Kyla Mae has mastered the art of time-out.

When we first began doing time-outs with Kyla Mae (KM) she gleefully went to the spot. It was still a new concept...one in which she embraced. Now, she moseys on over to the spot, not so gleefully anymore.

The other day I sent KM to time out. On her way to the spot, she gathered up her sippy cup and a book. I guess she figured she might as well make the best of her time in isolation.

It was one of those times when you have to look away, because you don't want them to see you laughing.

In the checkout line

The other day, at the grocery store, Elisan is sitting in the buggy as the girl was bagging up our groceries. This is a snippit of the conversation:

"My name is Elisan.
I'm three, but I'm almost four.
My name starts with the letter E.
My name is spelled 'E-L-I-S-A-N'.
My sister's name is Kyla and her name starts with the letter 'K'.
That's my mommy (pointing to me).
Her name is Erica. She's 32."

Then the conversation turns into questioning:

"What's your name?
What letter does it start with?
How many are you?
Who's your mommy?
I haven't seen you here before...are you new?"

There were more, but I didn't catch all of the question/answer session, because I was paying the cashier.

Lisa (I know that now, thanks to Elisan) asked us if we needed help out to our car with the groceries and I politely told her, that I wouldn't possibly subject her to more 3 year old questioning, but thanks anyway.

I think she was relieved.

Are you done?

"Sit down, Kyla!" I tell her. So, she sits.

This has become our newest little game...well, not really a game, but I wouldn't classify it as a battle...yet!

Kyla is insisting upon standing up in her high chair. So, I tell her to sit down. She'll sit for a few more minutes, then she'll begin to stand up again. So, I ask her, "Are you done?" Then, she'll sit down.

Sometimes though, I'll ask her, "Are you done?" and she'll stand there waiting for me to wipe her hands. Yet, the very second I reach for her hands to wipe them, she stuffs more food into her mouth ...smiling.

She's got my number.

Sweet Talk

Elisan is full of it... full of sweet talk that is!

Some recent compliments that have come out of Elisan:

"Ms. Heather, I like your bathing suit."
"Ms. Cyndi, I like your shoes."
"Jacklyn, I love your pants."
"Mommy, I like your earrings."

She's three! It amazes me that she can really like something...that she has an opinion about it...and that she wants you to know!

My friends love it. Well, really, who wouldn't love to be showered with compliments?

Of course, that also reminds me of the time when my mom and Elisan were in a dressing room together. My mom was trying on an outfit and asked Elisan what she thought about it. Her response? "Meme, that looks nasty!"

Peanuts

It was inevitable.

"Mommy, boy's have peanuts and girl's have baginas." This, while eating a popsicle outside.

It reminded me of the (almost) famous line from Kindergarten Cop with Arnold Schwarzenegger, where the kid randomly announces the (almost) exact same line that my Elisan delivered today.

Sure, I can understand the fascination. She doesn't have a peanut, and the only peanut(s) she has seen, is of her play group friends', as they are changing into their bathing suits, etc. Truthfully, I think she's handled the whole "peanut and bagina" idea pretty well.

By the way, we are teaching her the correct pronounciation, but she is only three!

How Many? continued...

On the way to church last night, Elisan asked, "How many is Jesus?"

I answered, "When Jesus lived on the Earth, he was 33." Then she said, "How many is Jesus in Heaven?"

Hmmmm, this one was a tough one, so I just said, "Jesus is as old as Mommy. "

I'm 32, so I figured that answer would be logical to her.

It wasn't good enough, so she said, "I'll ask him."

How Many?

"I'm three. But, I'm almost four," she tells random strangers. "My birthday is August the 12th," she explains.

"How many are you?" That's Elisan's newest question. No one is immune.

The talking to strangers part is new. Not quite sure what to make of it. I have noticed that she will only talk to a stranger if I have interacted with them -- a fellow shopper, a sales person, a person at the mail box, etc. That's acceptable, under those circumstances.

However, I'm not quite sure they appreciate being asked how many they are!

Faces

"This is my happy face," Elisan smiles, while she is looking in the mirror. "And, this is my sad face, Mommy," she is frowning, sort've. "This is my surprised face," and she makes a very expressive face, with her mouth shaped in a circle and eyes wide open.

I then begin to prompt her... "Show me your sleepy face." And, she does. "Show me your silly face." And, she does. "Show me your 'You just got into trouble face'," and the face expression she showed me was her "surprised" face!

Money

"Mommy, we've been to that store," as she points to a clothing store. She then says, "Mommy, you collect pants there." Our last visit to that particular store, I bought a pair of pants. The next day, I returned them. She then says, "Mommy, you collect pants, and Daddy collects money!" How asute! I probed even further.... "Elisan, does Daddy spend money?" And she said, "No." Then I asked, "Elisan does Mommy spend money?" And she said, "Yes, on pants."

The Mommy Song

From a Mom's perspective, there is nothing sweeter than hearing your child sing. But, to hear a song dedicated to you, is enough to make anyone's heart melt!

Tonight I asked Elisan to sing me a "Mommy Song". Here's what she sang:

"Mommy I love you, you make me so happy. You have pretty eyes, that close up and down. Your hair is blonde. You have cheeks and a nose that sneezes." The song goes on for a few more verses, and although, she sings off-key, it's from the heart... and it melts mine.

Red Onion

Tonight, we ate sloppy joes, and I sliced up some red onions for our "manwiches". Kyla was happily sitting in her high chair, eating fruit and pickles, when she saw me put red onions on my sloppy joe. The little beggar began whining for the red onions.

Randy and I chuckled a bit, as I put the plate in front of her. She grabbed several pieces of the onion. She tasted it, then tasted it again. She then popped the whole bite into her mouth. She chewed it for a while without complaint. Then, she decided to spit it out. We kinda expected that to happen. But, it didn't stop her. She resumed eating the remainder of the pieces she piled on her highchair tray and polished them off....this time, without complaint.

Eh? Why not... we like 'em!

Balloon

In the car today, I had the windows down to cool us all off from the heat. Elisan had a balloon in the car, and she was holding it. Well, as you can imagine, she let go of it and two seconds later, it zipped out of the car window. Sheer terror! Elisan screamed that she lost her balloon. The screams were so penetrating, that I (for a split second) considered going back for the balloon. The wailing lasted for at least another seven minutes. I don't think I have ever witnessed anything like it before.

Between the sobbing, I asked her if she wanted Mommy to blow up another balloon when we got home. She quickly said, "No, I don't want another balloon!" then, she reconsidered. "Maybe I do want another balloon! That would make me happy Mommy."

Well, she got another balloon, but rest-assured, it will never reach the confines of the car.

Is Jesus little?

This evening, as I was tucking Elisan into bed, she decided that she no longer wanted to say night-night prayers anymore. We talked a bit about praying and why it is important to pray. I also told her that Jesus loves us very much, and he loves it when we pray to Him. She then asked me if Jesus lived in Heaven. I told her, "Yes, Jesus lives in Heaven, but He also lives in our hearts." I pointed to her heart and to my heart. She thought about it for a second, and asked, "Mommy, is Jesus little?" Precious.

A Bug at McDonalds

We dined at McD's tonight after church. It's always a treat for Elisan to get a Happy Meal after church--a reward for being a good girl. We ate our meals and I was collecting our things to head out the door when Elisan began hollering about fly that had landed on our table. "Mommy a Bug! Look a Bug! Mommy, there's a BUG AT MCDONALDS!" Oh my! Leave it to a three year old to create havoc for the nearby patrons. As we were leaving, I very loudy explained that the bug was only a fly, hoping to leave my fellow diners with a modicum of relief, all the while I was chuckling because, afterall, it was pretty funny.

Splinter

"It Hurts! It Hurts!" my three year old screams at me. "Hold still." I tell her. "I want Daddy," she whines.... I tell her that Daddy will not be as gentle as Mommy. She sniffles for a second, then pauses....yep, she believes that! She had a splinter, or actually rock shard in her big toe. It had been in her toe for over a week now, but finally, last night, I removed it. Wow... I'm surprised she was even able to walk, but I guess there's no amount of pain that will slow a three year old down. Pain is so relative, isn't it? It's also amazing to me, how a kiss and a Clifford the Big Red Dog "boo-boo-band" will cure even the biggest ouch.