The Diarrhea Loophole

WARNING: Poop talk ahead...




Elisan has just recently learned to wipe herself after having a bowel movement.

I know, I know, she's five!

But, blame it on her anal mother (no pun intended) who is just a little, well...anal... when it comes to bathroom cleanliness. I would rather take matters into my own hands, so that explains why I've waited so long to teach her how to wipe.

Well, that... and the fact that Elisan hates to wipe herself.

With Kindergarten starting this week, I'm glad that she has finally learned to wipe herself. I don't imagine that the teacher would be impressed with Elisan (or with me, for that matter) if she was still hollering, "I'm donnnnnnne!" once she finished her business.

But, leave it to my little girl to discover a loophole in the B.M. wiping department.

It's diarrhea.

She knows me well enough, to know that I will wipe a diarrhea poop because... well...I'm anal like that. And because of this, she uses the diarrhea loophole A LOT. Even when there isn't just cause.

So, now, instead of hearing "I'm donnnnnne!" I hear, "Mommy, it's a diarrhea and it's naaaaasty!"

I can't wait for the first note to come home in Elisan's backpack explaining that in Kindergarten, they do not wipe the student's rear-ends.

Forward Roll

Okay, so I'm in the bathroom and -gasp- there is only an empty cardboard cylinder on the holder!

"Oh poop!" I mumble... (pun intended!)

So, I say to my eldest child, "Elisan, go get Mommy a roll of toilet paper, puh-leezzzzz!"

So, she comes back with a roll and hands it to me. I do my thing, then place the roll on the holder.

Then I notice out of the corner of my eye that my daughter is taking the roll off of the hanger and turning it around, so that the t-p is hanging down from the roll, rather than over the top of the roll.

I knew exactly what she was doing, but wanted her to explain it to me.

I asked, "Elisan, whatcha doin'?"

She said, "I'm fixing the toilet paper."

I play dumb, "What do you mean?"

She said, "I like it when the paper hangs down." Good enough for me, I thought....

What's funny, is that I am soooo totally anal (pun intended...) about certain things in life, but so totally non-anal about matters of the direction of the toilet paper.

Forward roll, backward roll... it doesn't matter to me - only that there is toilet paper on the roll! But, apparently it matters to my four year old daughter.

Which is kind of funny to think about - a four year old, having a toilet paper preference. I mean, isn't this something that is discussed between adult women on the playground, or something like that?

Christmas Challenge! Day 1

Today marks the beginning of my annual Christmas Blogging Challenge! There will be no prize at the end of the 25 days, but I can guarantee that you will be glad you are not pressured to post a blog entry once it is all over. Speaking of pressure... there is none, at least not from me. All that pressure you would feel from joining in on the blogging challenge would be self imposed. So... with that said, let the fun begin!

Today I have a story to tell that has a happy ending. It is not a Christmas story, only a story that has meaning and a teachable moment delivered by yours truly!

Around the end of September I lost one of my sets of keys. Yes, I have two sets of keys. I'm a bit anal like that. Anyway, unbeknownst to me, I lost a set at the soccer field. I know you are wondering how did that happen? Wouldn't I have needed my keys to drive home? Why, yes, I would, except for the fact I had BOTH sets with me and I simply fished out the set of keys in my purse (rather than the one laying on the ground) and was on my way. It wasn't until about a week later, I realized I couldn't find my other set of keys. Argh!

I searched high and low without any clue as to where they could be. I was very unhappy with the prospect of not ever finding my keys. Then, low and behold, about a month later, I get a call from an employee at my church and he said that a man called the office saying that he found a set of keys and on the key ring was a Celebration Church ID number and was there anyway that number could be looked up. To make a long story short... I got my keys back! Whoohoo! Thank God for people who take the time and effort to do something nice for someone else!

Teachable moment: I decided that I did not want to go through the stress of losing my keys again! That same evening that I got my keys back, I got an email from www.artscow.com for custom "dog tags" for $1.99/each with free shipping, so I decided right then and there to order two dog tags with my contact information on them. (See photo) So, now, if I lose my keys again, all anyone would have to do is email or call me! Hello! Lightbulb moment!

Sidenote: This really goes without saying, but if you ever wanted to get something similar for your keys, please do not put your home address! Duh... Erica...!

And secondly, sign up for Arts Cow's email specials. They have incredible deals all the time (and I'm really particular about that kind of thing...)

Now, see... that wasn't that hard. Get busy on your 25 days of blogging this December! It will be fun! And don't forget to check out my new blog GOODWILL GAL as I will be posting 25 Days of Blogging there as well!

Until tomorrow....

Sisterly Love

I've been meaning to write about this story, but have been forgetting, amidst all of the 'gettin ready for school' stuff we've been doing.

A few weeks ago at the YMCA, I was picking up the girls after my workout and after looking for them for about 1 minute, I began to worry. Usually, KM spots me first and makes a mad dash to me, but not this time. Neither one of the girls were to be found.

--Heart-pounding--

I round the corner and I hear giggling from the girls' bathroom. I peek under the stall and see Elisan's shoes and KM's shoes dangling.

--Heart-rate slowing down now--

I walk up to the stall and tell Elisan to open the door. There is KM on the potty, pooping. If you know me at all, you know I am an anal kind of gal when it comes to matters of the potty and pooping. See, the gist of it is, that I am still wiping KM's botty after she poops. I can't stand the idea of her wiping herself. Nope. Not yet, anyway. I'm a little weird like that.

So, anyway, back to the story... KM is pooping and Elisan is standing there with her. I ask Elisan, "Elle, whatcha doing?"

She says, "Kyla's pooping!" in that "like duh!" voice.

I say, "She can poop by herself, ya know."

She says, "But, she can't wipe her self."

I say, "So, what? Were you going to wipe her booty for her?"

She says, "Yes... but, I didn't want to!"

That, my friends, is sisterly love.

So, next time you are questioning the love you have for your sister, (or brother for that matter...) stop and ask yourself... Would you wipe their booty for them?