The Bluff

bluffed, bluff·ing, bluffs: (verb) To impress, deter, or intimidate by a false display of confidence or strength.

Let me set the scene:
It's snack time and Elisan chose two snacks to eat. In most cases, if Elisan finishes her snack, she can pick out two pieces of candy for her afternoon treat. After I opened both snacks for her, she decided she didn't want one of them.

Here's how it went down.
Elisan: "Mommy, I don't want to eat this chocolate pudding. Now, can I have my candy?"

(Okay, there are two things wrong with this scenario. The first thing, is that for a 'healthy' snack, my kid is eating chocolate pudding. The second, is that the candy is a given in her mind.)

Mommy: "Um, no. You need to finish the pudding."
Elisan: "But, I don't want it anymore."
Mommy: "Well, I'm sorry. You picked it out, so you need to eat it."

(This conversation went on for about another minute or so. That's when I said...)

Mommy: "Well, I guess you can either eat your pudding or be punished."
Elisan: "Mommy, I think I want to be punished."
Mommy: "Okay. Let's go."

(She then followed me into her room for the punishment and realized that I was not bluffing. Then she said...)

Elisan: "Um, I think I want to eat my pudding now."

And she did.

You know you're tired when...

...you sit in the bath tub with your clothes on.

Yesterday, I took the girls swimming. They had such a good time and were so tired afterwards, that they both took naps in the afternoon! (It's virtually unheard of, for Elisan to take a nap anymore.)

It was nearing 5:00, and I had to wrangle the kids up and get them ready for church. I told them to get ready for their bath. Elisan took off her undies and short pants, but thought nothing of getting into the bath tub with her shirt on.

I was about to tell her that she still had her shirt on, and then it dawned on me to get my camera and memorialize the moment.

So, here she is... dog-tired, in the tub, with her clothes on.

Once a pincher, always a pincher...

It's been reported that KM is picking on the little kids at church. She's not even 2, and she's already getting a bad reputation.

I see the look of dread on the teacher's faces when I drop her off, 'Hmmm, there's the pincher...'

And, really, I don't blame them. She's a handful, and on top of that...she's a pincher. She will always be remembered as the little girl who pinched.

On a side note, she's also a biter, but she only bites Elisan when she is fiercely p.o.'ed at her.

Just wait until those nursery kids really make her mad! Once a biter, always a biter...

Nuthin' but lies...

Lies, lies and more lies.

I've really had a go of it lately.

Elisan has begun lying. It's usually because of a toss up between "how much trouble will the truth cost me" decision on her part.

However, today's (lie) installment, was really... just blatant, or as my mom says, "a bold-faced lie."

Here's how things went down:

Elisan: "Mommy, I"m done with my snack."
Mommy: "You are?"
Elisan: "Yep."
Mommy: "Did you eat all of your grapes?"
Elisan: "Yep."
**I didn't believe her, so I check the garbage can and there they were... ALL of the grapes.
Mommy: "What's this?"
Elisan: "Ummmmm..."

Okay, I could go on and on, but you get the gist. So, she was punished and now she has lost her TV priviledges for the day.

Need I remind you that she is three! Three years old! (Okay, she'll be four next week, but still!)

And, so it begins....

Getting Older

(Disclaimer: I have permission from my husband to post this comment.)

Ever have one of those times, where you laugh and laugh and laugh, even days later? Maybe even weeks later?

About 3 weeks ago, Randy was getting ready to go outside to mow the grass. As usual in July, the sun is blazing and it is unbelievably hot outside -- at 9:00 a.m.

He was putting sunscreen on his neck, face and arms, and lip balm with suncreen for his lips. He then went into the bathroom and smoothed on some Desitin, for his chafing.

What was so darn 'pee in my pants' funny was when he emerged from the bathroom and said, "You know you're getting old, when you have to take a Claritin, apply sunscreen, lip balm with sunscreen and butt creme just to go outside."

I love that man!

Time Out

Time out is a beautiful thing...

Kyla Mae has mastered the art of time-out.

When we first began doing time-outs with Kyla Mae (KM) she gleefully went to the spot. It was still a new concept...one in which she embraced. Now, she moseys on over to the spot, not so gleefully anymore.

The other day I sent KM to time out. On her way to the spot, she gathered up her sippy cup and a book. I guess she figured she might as well make the best of her time in isolation.

It was one of those times when you have to look away, because you don't want them to see you laughing.

In the checkout line

The other day, at the grocery store, Elisan is sitting in the buggy as the girl was bagging up our groceries. This is a snippit of the conversation:

"My name is Elisan.
I'm three, but I'm almost four.
My name starts with the letter E.
My name is spelled 'E-L-I-S-A-N'.
My sister's name is Kyla and her name starts with the letter 'K'.
That's my mommy (pointing to me).
Her name is Erica. She's 32."

Then the conversation turns into questioning:

"What's your name?
What letter does it start with?
How many are you?
Who's your mommy?
I haven't seen you here before...are you new?"

There were more, but I didn't catch all of the question/answer session, because I was paying the cashier.

Lisa (I know that now, thanks to Elisan) asked us if we needed help out to our car with the groceries and I politely told her, that I wouldn't possibly subject her to more 3 year old questioning, but thanks anyway.

I think she was relieved.

Are you done?

"Sit down, Kyla!" I tell her. So, she sits.

This has become our newest little game...well, not really a game, but I wouldn't classify it as a battle...yet!

Kyla is insisting upon standing up in her high chair. So, I tell her to sit down. She'll sit for a few more minutes, then she'll begin to stand up again. So, I ask her, "Are you done?" Then, she'll sit down.

Sometimes though, I'll ask her, "Are you done?" and she'll stand there waiting for me to wipe her hands. Yet, the very second I reach for her hands to wipe them, she stuffs more food into her mouth ...smiling.

She's got my number.

Sweet Talk

Elisan is full of it... full of sweet talk that is!

Some recent compliments that have come out of Elisan:

"Ms. Heather, I like your bathing suit."
"Ms. Cyndi, I like your shoes."
"Jacklyn, I love your pants."
"Mommy, I like your earrings."

She's three! It amazes me that she can really like something...that she has an opinion about it...and that she wants you to know!

My friends love it. Well, really, who wouldn't love to be showered with compliments?

Of course, that also reminds me of the time when my mom and Elisan were in a dressing room together. My mom was trying on an outfit and asked Elisan what she thought about it. Her response? "Meme, that looks nasty!"

Peanuts

It was inevitable.

"Mommy, boy's have peanuts and girl's have baginas." This, while eating a popsicle outside.

It reminded me of the (almost) famous line from Kindergarten Cop with Arnold Schwarzenegger, where the kid randomly announces the (almost) exact same line that my Elisan delivered today.

Sure, I can understand the fascination. She doesn't have a peanut, and the only peanut(s) she has seen, is of her play group friends', as they are changing into their bathing suits, etc. Truthfully, I think she's handled the whole "peanut and bagina" idea pretty well.

By the way, we are teaching her the correct pronounciation, but she is only three!

How Many? continued...

On the way to church last night, Elisan asked, "How many is Jesus?"

I answered, "When Jesus lived on the Earth, he was 33." Then she said, "How many is Jesus in Heaven?"

Hmmmm, this one was a tough one, so I just said, "Jesus is as old as Mommy. "

I'm 32, so I figured that answer would be logical to her.

It wasn't good enough, so she said, "I'll ask him."

How Many?

"I'm three. But, I'm almost four," she tells random strangers. "My birthday is August the 12th," she explains.

"How many are you?" That's Elisan's newest question. No one is immune.

The talking to strangers part is new. Not quite sure what to make of it. I have noticed that she will only talk to a stranger if I have interacted with them -- a fellow shopper, a sales person, a person at the mail box, etc. That's acceptable, under those circumstances.

However, I'm not quite sure they appreciate being asked how many they are!

Faces

"This is my happy face," Elisan smiles, while she is looking in the mirror. "And, this is my sad face, Mommy," she is frowning, sort've. "This is my surprised face," and she makes a very expressive face, with her mouth shaped in a circle and eyes wide open.

I then begin to prompt her... "Show me your sleepy face." And, she does. "Show me your silly face." And, she does. "Show me your 'You just got into trouble face'," and the face expression she showed me was her "surprised" face!

Money

"Mommy, we've been to that store," as she points to a clothing store. She then says, "Mommy, you collect pants there." Our last visit to that particular store, I bought a pair of pants. The next day, I returned them. She then says, "Mommy, you collect pants, and Daddy collects money!" How asute! I probed even further.... "Elisan, does Daddy spend money?" And she said, "No." Then I asked, "Elisan does Mommy spend money?" And she said, "Yes, on pants."

The Mommy Song

From a Mom's perspective, there is nothing sweeter than hearing your child sing. But, to hear a song dedicated to you, is enough to make anyone's heart melt!

Tonight I asked Elisan to sing me a "Mommy Song". Here's what she sang:

"Mommy I love you, you make me so happy. You have pretty eyes, that close up and down. Your hair is blonde. You have cheeks and a nose that sneezes." The song goes on for a few more verses, and although, she sings off-key, it's from the heart... and it melts mine.

Red Onion

Tonight, we ate sloppy joes, and I sliced up some red onions for our "manwiches". Kyla was happily sitting in her high chair, eating fruit and pickles, when she saw me put red onions on my sloppy joe. The little beggar began whining for the red onions.

Randy and I chuckled a bit, as I put the plate in front of her. She grabbed several pieces of the onion. She tasted it, then tasted it again. She then popped the whole bite into her mouth. She chewed it for a while without complaint. Then, she decided to spit it out. We kinda expected that to happen. But, it didn't stop her. She resumed eating the remainder of the pieces she piled on her highchair tray and polished them off....this time, without complaint.

Eh? Why not... we like 'em!

Balloon

In the car today, I had the windows down to cool us all off from the heat. Elisan had a balloon in the car, and she was holding it. Well, as you can imagine, she let go of it and two seconds later, it zipped out of the car window. Sheer terror! Elisan screamed that she lost her balloon. The screams were so penetrating, that I (for a split second) considered going back for the balloon. The wailing lasted for at least another seven minutes. I don't think I have ever witnessed anything like it before.

Between the sobbing, I asked her if she wanted Mommy to blow up another balloon when we got home. She quickly said, "No, I don't want another balloon!" then, she reconsidered. "Maybe I do want another balloon! That would make me happy Mommy."

Well, she got another balloon, but rest-assured, it will never reach the confines of the car.

Is Jesus little?

This evening, as I was tucking Elisan into bed, she decided that she no longer wanted to say night-night prayers anymore. We talked a bit about praying and why it is important to pray. I also told her that Jesus loves us very much, and he loves it when we pray to Him. She then asked me if Jesus lived in Heaven. I told her, "Yes, Jesus lives in Heaven, but He also lives in our hearts." I pointed to her heart and to my heart. She thought about it for a second, and asked, "Mommy, is Jesus little?" Precious.

A Bug at McDonalds

We dined at McD's tonight after church. It's always a treat for Elisan to get a Happy Meal after church--a reward for being a good girl. We ate our meals and I was collecting our things to head out the door when Elisan began hollering about fly that had landed on our table. "Mommy a Bug! Look a Bug! Mommy, there's a BUG AT MCDONALDS!" Oh my! Leave it to a three year old to create havoc for the nearby patrons. As we were leaving, I very loudy explained that the bug was only a fly, hoping to leave my fellow diners with a modicum of relief, all the while I was chuckling because, afterall, it was pretty funny.

Splinter

"It Hurts! It Hurts!" my three year old screams at me. "Hold still." I tell her. "I want Daddy," she whines.... I tell her that Daddy will not be as gentle as Mommy. She sniffles for a second, then pauses....yep, she believes that! She had a splinter, or actually rock shard in her big toe. It had been in her toe for over a week now, but finally, last night, I removed it. Wow... I'm surprised she was even able to walk, but I guess there's no amount of pain that will slow a three year old down. Pain is so relative, isn't it? It's also amazing to me, how a kiss and a Clifford the Big Red Dog "boo-boo-band" will cure even the biggest ouch.