Happy Birthday Kid

So, yeah, this happened yesterday.  My girl turned 14.  

I remember being 14 and I just cannot believe I have my own 14 year old daughter.  

Life was hard when I was 14 ... I cannot hardly imagine how hard it is now.  No need to get into the social media aspects of it all... that's crazy enough.  But, the reality of having information at your virtual fingertips at all times is mind-blowing.  But, that's all my 14 year old has known.  There is no life before the internet for her and that's weird.

I mention this because MY fourteen is way different from HER fourteen.  And while her way of life is very different from my way of life back then, her LIFESTYLE is way more sheltered than my LIFESTYLE ever was.  Does that make sense?

For example:  When I was a pre-teen/teenager, I had my own phone and phone line in my room.  It was a phone line that my brother and I shared, but essentially, I could call anyone (anytime) that I wanted.  And vice-versa... including boys!

I can say without a doubt say that Elisan has not had a phone conversation with a boy to date.  Never. And, I can say without a doubt that Elisan has only had ONE text "conversation" with ONE boy and that first time was just last week!  

So, yeah... her 14 year old lifestyle is different from what my 14 year old lifestyle was.

Another example is sleepovers.  I participated in sleepovers nearly every weekend.  Either at my house or at a friend's house.  That was just a given.  (At which time, we'd call boys, etc... on my own private phone line... )

Elisan has never had a sleepover and has never been to anyone's home for a sleepover.... EXCEPT for her 8th birthday party in which we had a moment of weakness and allowed a sleepover at our home.  Oh, and wait... she did attend a sleepover when she was 7 for a friend's birthday...and, I was there, spending the night as well, helping my mom friend manage all of the girls.  So, that one really doesn't count, does it?

So, yeah...call us over protective parents, I don't care.  But, that's the thing.  This whole WAY OF LIFE (i.e. current modern living that has been thrust upon us) vs. LIFESTYLE (the way we as a family choose to live) has really rocked the apple cart in the way of parenting.   What was acceptable 30 years ago, is no longer acceptable... at least not to me.

Now, girls are not just talking on the phone to boys until the wee hours of the morning... they are using FaceTime to communicate with boys... and doing/showing God know's what to God know's who.  That scares me.  Like, really scares me.  

And so, there are those who think that we are über strict in our parenting style, but ya know what?  I'm okay with that.  Because right now, it feels right.  And as she grows, we will grow too.  And as trust is developed, we will trust more.  It's not that I don't trust her now, but we have held back on the opportunities for trust to be developed.  I'm sure it's there... its just the opportunities have not presented themselves.  As an incoming Freshman to high school, those trust opportunities will become more and more available.

So, happy birthday kid.  There is no other person in this world that loves you more than your mama.  Those many hours of crazy pregnancy labor coupled with your horrific birth experience and non-stop crying for 4 months have paid off.  You are a beautiful, kind, sweet, incredibly smart and amazing young lady.  I'm honored to be your mom... even when I thought you would never stop crying.