Poor discipline comin' back to haunt me

There is not doubt in my mind... kids are gross. However, I will relent, that some of a child's gross-ness can be curbed with proper guidance and discipline.

I am here today to confess that strong discipline in all areas of gross-ness has been lackluster. I am ashamed to admit it. I hope that by my standing up today and giving my testimony, will help you avoid making the same errors in judgment that I have made.

Yesterday was the epitome of gross-ness for Elisan. It all began after she sucked down some Sprite for dinner, then proceeded to walk into the ballet studio and burped so loudly, I was stunned. I turned around, did a quick scan of the area, then quietly scolded her to say, "Excuse me!" She did and it seemed order was restored.

But, not for long...

While we were in the waiting area during Kyla's ballet class, Elisan was quietly working on a cross-word puzzle. She was on her hands and knees on the floor (with her butt in the air - facing me, no less!) And the next thing I hear is "TOOT!" She then rolled over to face me and started giggling and laughing. OMGosh! I was like, "Elisan! What do you say? That was gross. Please don't do that again."

I go back to reading my book and then not FIVE minutes later, I hear a 'grunt' and this time, she is forcing out a louder (more forceful!) toot! This time, I am mortified! I don't mind an occasional slip up, but gee whiz, in the crowded (but quiet) waiting area of the ballet studio? Argh!

Then, the coup de grâce was her whispered announcement of, "Mommy, I think that was a dud!" A dud in our language is also referred to as a "shart".

Oh man... there is no recovery to that, other than ordering her to the bathroom to take care of her business in there.

I'll be honest here folks... I totally blame Randy in all of this! (Yes, and he wasn't even there!) Although I love my husband, he is not the most gracefully mannered human being on planet Earth. In fact, he is down-right gross. I think she takes after her daddy. But, I will admit I fall short in the discipline department regarding this area because I can't very well discipline a grown man, in front of the girls, now can I? I mean, he KNOWS he is gross, so me telling him he is gross, is kind of redundant, don't ya think?

But, yesterday's display has encouraged me to be more vigilant in this area. So... Randy... beware! Your bodily function antics will not go unpunished any longer! That goes for Elisan too!