"God did not make me a mother to fail as a mother." - Christine Caine
Ever since I found out I was pregnant with Elisan, I questioned God about his choice to give me a little girl. I have not always been the ideal daughter and wondered what God saw in me, to give me a girl. Then, Kyla came along and I really thought, "Wow, God must really be trying to show me something here!"
It's no secret that I feel incredibly blessed to be the mother of two beautiful little girls. Yet, there are times when I wonder if I am the mother that God set me out to be. Am I making the right decisions... Am I making the most of my time with them... What kind of role model am I for them?
Just like most moms, I am so in love with my children, it hurts! It hurts me because I hope I am doing 'right by them' and oft times wonder if I will ever know. It hurts me because I wonder if I am equipped to raise them up to be Godly women, because truth be told, I haven't always been such a Godly woman myself. It hurts because I fear my choices today, will affect their forever. It hurts because time is quickly slipping away and I know that I will never get this time back.
And honestly, will we ever know? I seek God for the answers, but sometimes His voice just isn't clear enough for me. I do know that God has equipped me with wisdom. James 1:5 says that all we have to do is ask for wisdom and God will freely give it to us. And I do know that God doesn't intend for us to fail.
As I am heading into (nearly my eighth year of motherhood) I realize, that yes! God did know what He was doing by giving me girls. My prayer is, that as I navigate this life, God will be alongside of me, imparting spiritual wisdom and understanding. That He will pick me up when (not if...) I fail. That He will give me the energy to be the mother (wife, friend, daughter, sister, volunteer, employee) that He intends for me to be, because it is not with my strength, but with His strength.
God did not make me a mother to fail. Thank you God, for trusting me with your daughters.
well said- I have thought those things and you expressed them better than I could. You are a fabulous mother!
ReplyDeleteLike the comment before me, I too have the same thoughts. It is impossible for me to imagine sometimes how much God really loves us. Knowing that none of us are perfect and still giving us the amazing gift of children. You are an incredible woman of God, a devoted wife, and a terrific mother. We all make mistakes and always don't have all the answers for our children. For what it's worth, I look at you as an example, of where I want to be when my children are the age of yours.
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