One sad girl

Surely by now, y'all know that I write this blog as a memoir of my life as a wife and mother.  And sometimes, I just need to memorialize events in our lives that I don't want to ever forget.  This is one of those moments.

Last night, while Randy was tucking Kyla into bed, she began telling him how some of the kids in her class (I'm  not naming names...) told her that Santa was not real.

This is not the first time the Santa discussion has come up, but I've always steered the subject away from the truth.

Don't get me wrong, it's not that I'm hoping she'll believe in Santa until she's 15 years old... I think I embraced the Santa secret even more because, let's face it... she's my youngest child.  I couldn't bear to tell her the truth and really, I enjoy the whole Santa ruse as much as any parent.

So, when it was my turn to give Kyla a kiss before bedtime, Randy ushered me into the room and told me to close the door. Kyla was lying in her bed with a dumbstruck look on her face, as was Randy.  He had spilled the beans about Santa Claus and was not prepared for Kyla's response.

Y'all, she was upset.  Like, big ol tears welling up in her eyes, face turned into the pillow... the WORKS!

I could barely contain my tears as I saw our carefully constructed Santa Claus lie come tumbling down upon the heart of our little girl.  I was sad that she was sad and felt betrayed by us.

I know there are families out there that don't perpetuate the Santa lie and are straightforward with their kids from the get go.  And that is simply because the true meaning of Christmas is NOT about Santa Claus flying to 8 billion children's homes in one single night to deliver toys while stuffing down a chimney.  No, the true meaning of Christmas is the birth of our Lord, Jesus Christ.  I understand and I don't judge anyone's decision in how they celebrate Christmas.

But, Randy and I decided we'd do the whole Santa thing for our kids from the very first Christmas and have enjoyed it immensely. But, truth be told, it was time she found out the truth about Santa (and the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy...)

Would I change anything?  No.  I loved all 8 Christmas's I shared with Kyla believing that Santa Claus was for real.  Am I hurting?  Sure.  I hate to see my girl upset.

I will say, in the end, she felt a tremendous responsibility in keeping the secret safe from her little kid friends at school and church and is completely tickled that even though Santa is not real, she'll still get "Santa" presents under the Christmas tree this year AND an Easter basket for Easter AND money for lost teeth.