Okay, let's get one thing out of the way. It's never been about me. It's about God. Always has been, always will be.
But, I'm going to bring the "It's Not About Mama" issue closer to home.
As a stay at home wife and mother, my JOB is to care for my family. That means, doing everything "home related" stuff, plus "wife related" stuff, plus "kid related" stuff. I love what I do and I'm blessed to have a husband who supports me and our decision for me to do just that... take care of the home/wife/kid related duties.
In my "kid related" stuff, it means stepping in and helping my kids be as successful as possible.
- It means, helping with homework (when needed) so my kids do well in school.
- It means, when my kids get parts in musicals, I'm there to help them practice.
- It means, when my kids get selected to play on a team sport, we're their biggest fans.
- It means, when their team wins, we get to celebrate the victory.
- It means, when my kids get a good conduct report, academic award or special acknowledgement for their accomplishments, we as parents get to stand back, with puffed out chests, saying... "That's MY girl!"
And you know what? It's not about me. It's not my accomplishment. It's not my report card. It's not my team. It's not my song. It's not my "win". It's not my award. It's not mine at all.
And how often do I stand back and pat myself on the shoulder for MY job well done? Ummm....to be completely transparent... EVERY TIME!
My child's triumphs (and failures) do not define me as a mom. They are theirs and theirs alone.
What does define me as a mom, is that I raise my kids to be respectful human beings, make good choices, work hard and love others. That's it. That is MY defining moment. And if I can't succeed in that... then I have no business patting myself on the shoulder for anything.
That's not to say that I won't ever be proud of my kids ever again. Certainly not! I will always, always be proud of my kids. I'll be the one beaming the brightest whenever they triumph in life. And, I'll be there to pick them up when they fail. Because that's my job.
But, I've come to realize that they have to make their life their own. They don't need the added pressure of mama trying to "live the dream" with them.
And that my friends, is ALSO a defining moment.
I salute you for having realized this - I sadly have seen far to many mothers living their life through their children in the WRONG way. Sort of - my daughter is my best friend and look we even dress similar and love the same misic. NO NO NO and my I add a 4th NO. We are the mothers NOT the best friends and there will be days where our advise and decisions will NOT go donwn well but we are still the mothers - the grown-up - the parent - and that's our job. And when we remember that and survive the days our cherubs turn against us because "everyone else is allowed to to something and I am the ONLY one who can't stay out late, wear make-up, start smoking, have a drink (you'll get the picture I am sure) we will end up with wonderful adults and our relationship will still be fine because finally they understand WHY we did what we did and said what was needed. As the song goes "I beg your pardon, nobody promised you a rose garden". =0)
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