Painfully Shy

Lately, Elisan and I have been talking about the merits of making friends. She's the type of person who makes 1 or 2 really good friend(s) and is perfectly content.

However, this year, her closest friend from school will be home-schooled, so they will no longer be together. Needless to say, she is very sad and has mentioned on occasion that she won't have any real "close" friends at school anymore.

Of course, I dive right into the "you have to be a good friend to make good friends" mantra and although she gets what I'm saying, she has been falling back on the "But, I'm shy" safety net, which really, is no safety net at all.

Here's the deal... as a kid I was painfully shy. I mean... I was the kid that wanted to say "don't look at me", "don't talk to me", "don't sit by me because I just can't handle it." Oh, sure, I had friends and when I felt comfortable enough with them, I'd cut loose and be myself. A funny, silly, giddy girl! But, getting to that place was not easy.

So, hearing Elisan say that she is shy stirs up a well of emotions for me and I just don't want to see my girl face the same challenges I did growing up shy.

Yesterday, during one of our "shy" conversations I described a childhood (and adulthood) friend named Amy who was never shy...who had more friends what I could ever count...and who was loved (and still is loved) by many, many people. Simply put, people are drawn to her. I was telling Elisan about Amy and how much nicer it is to be nice to people, than to be shy and avoid them. I told her that most little girls her age want to be friends with other little girls and that she should try a little harder to reach out to those kids (on her volleyball team, soccer team, new kids in her class, etc.)

The problem with this advice is that I don't practice what I preach. I'm still shy (to some extent) and I know what it feels like to be insecure. I see the same behavior in my child and it makes me sad because I want better for her.

The truth of the matter is, shyness is not of God. 2 Timothy 1:7 tells us that God did not make us timid (shy) but instead gave us power, love and a sound mind. We are to enjoy other people. We are to develop relationships with them. We are to love them.

So, today, I stand in the gap for my daughter who is feeling shy and insecure.

Dear Lord, help my child to know that she is a daughter of the most high God and loved by you. That you, Lord are her strength and you have equipped her in advance with your power, love and sound mind. I pray Lord that she not be hindered by a spirit of shyness, but that she be empowered by your boldness. Amen.