Dark Clouds

Have you ever experienced a time in your life where you felt like a dark cloud was like a shroud over your life? Where everything you said, did, acted and reacted was in direct relationship to the darkness you felt?

I have recently stepped away from a very dark period in my life. A period that lasted well over 6 months. A period of deep and penetrating fear, that at the height of it... had me virtually paralyzed - both emotionally and mentally... and to some degree physically.

I was tempted by fear and fell into the trap of despair and depression. Satan had his "way with me" and I allowed it. I allowed it, because I allowed Satan's fear, rather than God's love, to overwhelm me.

And the reality is... I can quote scripture after scripture from the Bible that deals with fear (2 Timothy 1:7) and grace (Hebrews 4:16). Heck, the scripture on the left side of my blog talks about "approaching the throne of grace... to find mercy and grace in our time of need." I KNOW ALL OF THAT! But, I didn't apply it.

Last week I finally landed in the place where God needed for me to be, to finally cry out to him in desperate need. And you know what happened once I prayed and asked God to get this fear out of my life? It left. The fear left.

I feel like God gave me a visual when I very nearly hit rock bottom. He showed me hanging by a tattered rope, with one hand, swinging around without any stability. He then impressed upon me that He had been waiting for me to reach the end and when was I going to realize I cannot save myself or the world around me? That saving the world is HIS job, not mine.

What freedom.

Since last week, I've been freed from the torment of fear. Oh sure, Satan is still coming around trying to tempt me with those old familiar fears, but I'm rejecting his plot this time. I will not succumb to his lying schemes anymore.

I write all of this in hope that someone, somewhere can relate to my trial. There is freedom waiting for you. HE is waiting for you! Seek God and pray his scripture.