One of my favorite things to do growing up was to spend the night at a friends' house... or have a friend stay the night at our house. We'd stay up late, talk, make crank calls, make up dance moves, watch movies, eat junk food. It was fun.
And it must've been a nice break for my folks as well... A built in babysitter for the entire night. I never really thought of it from a parents' perspective until now.
But, now that I'm a parent, I have to say, my perspective is completely different and here's why.
Several years ago, one of our church pastors was asked to be a character witness for a man who was standing trial for Indecency With a Child. Our pastor felt 100% positive that the man on trial (his friend) was completely innocent of the charges.
But, there he was. On trial. For abusing a child.
I don't know all of the details surrounding the trial and that is really not important. All I know is that the daughter of the man on trial, had a friend who was spending the night at their home. And that child went home and told her parents that her friend's father touched her.
Let me play devil's advocate here. Say two girls are best friends at school. They have been best friends for years. The one friend has a boyfriend who has recently decided he didn't like her anymore. And let's say that boyfriend decided that he now likes the other friend. This happens on a Monday, at school... after a weekend sleepover.
What's to say, that in effort to hurt this girl (and subsequently her family) the "friend" tells a lie that the father touched her inappropriately while she was at their home over the weekend?
Granted... this may seem far fetched... but is it really?
I realize that sexual abuse runs rampant in our world. I'm not denying that fact or even suggesting that every girl that comes forward about sexual abuse is lying. Certainly not. As a mother of two girls I would believe my girls unequivocally if they ever told me about someone abusing them.
But here's the deal. My husband and I have made a mutual decision to not allow sleepovers at our home or at anyone else's home. It's not worth it. It's not worth someone or something coming against our family. I realize I cannot protect my children from everything, but if I can protect them in this way, I am going to do it.
Our daughter's know our rule and while they don't understand exactly why we are enforcing it, they know that it is for their protection. And it's across the board.
I recently had a mom friend ask me if Elisan could spend the night with them. And I had to tell her... it's not about you... it's about us and a rule we have to strictly enforce. If we break the rules for one friend, then we run into resistance the next time when another "good" friend invites her to their home for a sleepover.
The gist is... the world is not the same as it was when I was having sleepovers at a friend's house. It's just not. I have to take responsibility for my family, because at the end of the day... no one will protect my kids like Randy and me.
Am I extreme? Perhaps. What are your thoughts?
27 October, 2011
14 October, 2011
Coming to terms
Well, I'm here to report that I WILL NOT be running a 1/2 marathon in November. Shocker, right?
Here's the deal... While I still have a strong desire to run a 1/2 marathon, it will not happen this year. I've been side-lined 2x this year with injuries - one in my hip and one in my sciatic nerve/piriformis muscle (a.k.a. butt). And, it's happening on the same side, which makes it even more frustating. When I begin making great progress, something begins to hurt OR I get extremely busy and neglect to put in the time it takes to train.
Really... it's just a bunch of excuses.
So, while I won't be running a 1/2 marathon this year, I would like to train for and run a 1/2 marathon by my 40th birthday.
Which is next year.
Um... yeah.
40.
Next year.
I'm in disbelief myself.
So all you local folks that are my in real life friends... what'd ya say? Anyone want to actually commit to run a 1/2 marathon with me next year?
12 October, 2011
Blog Brain Dump
The other day, I had a friend call me and ask if everything was okay. She said, "Well, I'm just calling to check on you because you not only quit Facebook, but you are taking a blog break."
The funny thing is, the blog break was totally unintentional. Seriously. I've just been so stinkin' busy that the thought of me sitting down at my computer to type up something that would be interesting enough to read... well, sorry folks...writing complete sentences with a touch of humor didn't fit into my schedule.
In other news, yes I DID in fact quit Facebook. What began as a Facebreak, ending up with me breaking up with Facebook altogether. My disillusionment with Facebook began several weeks ago when FB changed up their format. I know, change is good... change is for the better... blah, blah. But honestly, the change wasn't working for me. Then a few days later, there was a special speaker at MOPS who spoke on organization and self-management. She talked about how we as a society have become ruled by our own personal technology and that it has gotten out of hand, etc., etc. I agreed whole-heartedly and thus began my "Facebreak". I chopped my "friend" list by 240+ people and announced I was taking a break.
The very next day, I had a hair cut appointment with my fab friend and hairdresser Alison of Happy Hair Beauty Parlor and we began discussing (the not so good points of) FB and she said she stopped using FB about 3 months ago and has never looked back! When I left her shop, I had decided I would pull the plug on mine too. And I did. And it feels great. And can you believe it... NO WITHDRAWALS!
Sure, I'm gonna miss seeing pictures and reading updates on my friends and family, but I figure, if I'm good enough friends with you now, then I'll stay updated anyway. Right now, I just don't need the brain clutter and noise in my head. My job is too important to get bogged down in outside influences that try to distract me from what I need to be doing as a wife and mom.
I have so much more to say, but my post about FB took up more space than I intended. I will leave you with this as I was moved by what our school principal spoke of at chapel yesterday. Our school has begun a "Backpack Coalition" and what that means is our school is partnering with a local public elementary school in our area to provide food for 75 kids who would normally go without food over the weekend. Our principal talked about how most of these 75 elementary aged students only get to eat what is offered at the school via the free and/or reduced lunch program. As part of our school's local missions project, we are collecting non-perishable food items each week and the high school students are making distribution bags to hand out to these 75 children in need each Friday afternoon. The food is handed out discreetly to these students so as to not embarrass them and is placed in their backpacks before they head home for the weekend.
Mrs. O'Brien mentioned a little girl from last Friday who came up to her and said, "Do you know what? Today is my birthday and this is the best birthday present ever!" I fell to pieces right then and there. Why? Well, because it was MY little girl's birthday last Friday as well. Oh my word. The tears came pouring out and I couldn't help but think that that little girl's best birthday present ever was a bag of non-perishable food. A little girl, who was no doubt, the same age as my little girl.
Thank you Lord for allowing me to be at chapel yesterday to hear the testimony of what you are doing in the lives of these kids. Kids who would otherwise go hungry. Please place before me opportunities to help those in need. Lord, thank you for your abundant blessings in my life and in the life of my family. Lord, I pray we never take for granted all that you do for us.
The funny thing is, the blog break was totally unintentional. Seriously. I've just been so stinkin' busy that the thought of me sitting down at my computer to type up something that would be interesting enough to read... well, sorry folks...writing complete sentences with a touch of humor didn't fit into my schedule.
In other news, yes I DID in fact quit Facebook. What began as a Facebreak, ending up with me breaking up with Facebook altogether. My disillusionment with Facebook began several weeks ago when FB changed up their format. I know, change is good... change is for the better... blah, blah. But honestly, the change wasn't working for me. Then a few days later, there was a special speaker at MOPS who spoke on organization and self-management. She talked about how we as a society have become ruled by our own personal technology and that it has gotten out of hand, etc., etc. I agreed whole-heartedly and thus began my "Facebreak". I chopped my "friend" list by 240+ people and announced I was taking a break.
The very next day, I had a hair cut appointment with my fab friend and hairdresser Alison of Happy Hair Beauty Parlor and we began discussing (the not so good points of) FB and she said she stopped using FB about 3 months ago and has never looked back! When I left her shop, I had decided I would pull the plug on mine too. And I did. And it feels great. And can you believe it... NO WITHDRAWALS!
Sure, I'm gonna miss seeing pictures and reading updates on my friends and family, but I figure, if I'm good enough friends with you now, then I'll stay updated anyway. Right now, I just don't need the brain clutter and noise in my head. My job is too important to get bogged down in outside influences that try to distract me from what I need to be doing as a wife and mom.
I have so much more to say, but my post about FB took up more space than I intended. I will leave you with this as I was moved by what our school principal spoke of at chapel yesterday. Our school has begun a "Backpack Coalition" and what that means is our school is partnering with a local public elementary school in our area to provide food for 75 kids who would normally go without food over the weekend. Our principal talked about how most of these 75 elementary aged students only get to eat what is offered at the school via the free and/or reduced lunch program. As part of our school's local missions project, we are collecting non-perishable food items each week and the high school students are making distribution bags to hand out to these 75 children in need each Friday afternoon. The food is handed out discreetly to these students so as to not embarrass them and is placed in their backpacks before they head home for the weekend.
Mrs. O'Brien mentioned a little girl from last Friday who came up to her and said, "Do you know what? Today is my birthday and this is the best birthday present ever!" I fell to pieces right then and there. Why? Well, because it was MY little girl's birthday last Friday as well. Oh my word. The tears came pouring out and I couldn't help but think that that little girl's best birthday present ever was a bag of non-perishable food. A little girl, who was no doubt, the same age as my little girl.
Thank you Lord for allowing me to be at chapel yesterday to hear the testimony of what you are doing in the lives of these kids. Kids who would otherwise go hungry. Please place before me opportunities to help those in need. Lord, thank you for your abundant blessings in my life and in the life of my family. Lord, I pray we never take for granted all that you do for us.
07 October, 2011
Happy Birthday Kyla Mae!
Today is my baby's 8th birthday! (Sniff-sniff)
I can't believe that she is already 8 years old!
I can't believe that she is already 8 years old!
I pray that this year will bring you much happiness and joy (and compliance... hah!)
Love, Mommy
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